Excerpt
Don't say "The last one there is a rotten egg" unless you're absolutely sure there's a slow kid behind you.
Kids aren't supposed to have clean fingernails.
You have to love your brother, even if he doesn't deserve it.
Apologize for it before your mother notices the stain on your shirt.
Stamp your feet when you get angry.
You only go down the slide headfirst one time.
If you want to get carried, pretend to fall asleep in the back seat of the car.
If somebody calls you a crybaby, don't cry.