Shadows in the Sun Healing from Depression & Finding the Light Within

“Everyone who struggles with a mental illness, or who knows anyone with depression, anxiety, or any other mental illness, must read this engrossing true story of courage in the face of heartbreaking adversity.”

—Dilip V. Jeste, MD, president, American Psychiatric Association

As a young girl in Bangalore, Gayathri was surrounded by the fragrance of jasmine and flickering oil lamps, her family protected by Hindu gods and goddesses. But as she grew older, demons came forth from the dark corners of her idyllic kingdom — with the scariest creatures lurking within her.

The daughter of a respected Brahmin family, Gayathri began to feel different. “I can hardly eat, sleep, or think straight. The only thing I can do is cry unending tears.” Her parents insisted it was all in her head. Because traditional Indian culture had no concept of depression as an illness, no doctor could diagnose and no medicine could heal her mysterious malady.

This memoir traces Gayathri's courageous battle with the depression that consumed her from adolescence through marriage and a move to the United States. It was only after the birth of her first child, when her husband discovered her in the backyard “clawing the earth furiously with my bare hands, intent on digging a grave so that I could bury myself alive” that she finally found help. After a stay in a psych ward she eventually found “the light within,” an emotional and spiritual awakening from the darkness of her tortured mind.

Gayathri's inspiring story provides a first-of-its-kind cross-cultural view of mental illness — how it is regarded in India and in America, and how she drew on both her rich Hindu heritage and Western medicine to find healing.

"Shadows in the Sun is a deeply informative and terrifyingly real portrait of depression, and a tremendously inspiring account of recovery. Gayathri's story of self-transformation is a marvel and inspiration for all of us — those who suffer, those who serve — that even at the darkest moments, hope, recovery and peace are possible. The experience of hearing this story from Gayathri herself, with her radiant energy, passion and love, is a treasure.” Christopher Gordon, M.D., Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry, Harvard Medical School

“Ramprasad writes eloquently about depression, and about building a meaningful life in the face of mental illness." Andrew Solomom, National Book Award-winning author of The noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression

“This is an inspiring and heartwarming story. For millions of people suffering from mental illnesses, this is a vivid illustration that there is light at the end of the tunnel. What makes this book unique is its cross-cultural context of the life of an immigrant. Gayathri migrated not only from India to the U.S., but also into and out of a serious mental illness. Everyone who struggles with a mental illness, or who knows anyone with depression, anxiety, or any other mental illness, must read this engrossing true story of courage in the face of heartbreaking adversity.” Dilip V. Jeste, M.D., distinguished professor of psychiatry and neurosciences, University of California–San Diego, and president, American Psychiatric Association

“A tender tale of perseverance, courage and determination. Weaving together colorful threads from two different cultures in rich, beautiful prose, Gayathri pens a masterpiece about an anguishing mental illness that ends in redemption and grace. Hers is a powerful story of hope, resilience, and recovery.” Therese Borchard, author of Beyond the Blue: Surviving Depression and Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes

A first-of-its-kind, cross-cultural lens to mental illness through the inspiring story of Gayathri s thirty-year battle with depression. This literary memoir takes readers from her childhood in India where depression is thought to be a curse to life in America where she eventually finds the light within by drawing on both her rich Hindu heritage and Western medicine to find healing.
As a young girl in Bangalore, Gayathri was surrounded by the fragrance of jasmine and flickering oil lamps, her family protected by Hindu gods and goddesses. But as she grew older, demons came forth from the dark corners of her idyllic kingdom--with the scariest creatures lurking within her.The daughter of a respected Brahmin family, Gayathri began to feel different. "I can hardly eat, sleep, or think straight. The only thing I can do is cry unending tears." Her parents insisted it was all in her head. Because traditional Indian culture had no concept of depression as an illness, no doctor could diagnose and no medicine could heal her mysterious malady.This memoir traces Gayathri's courageous battle with the depression that consumed her from adolescence through marriage and a move to the United States. It was only after the birth of her first child, when her husband discovered her in the backyard "clawing the earth furiously with my bare hands, intent on digging a grave so that I could bury myself alive," that she finally found help. After a stay in a psych ward she eventually found "the light within," an emotional and spiritual awakening from the darkness of her tortured mind.Gayathri's inspiring story provides a first-of-its-kind cross-cultural view of mental illness--how it is regarded in India and in America, and how she drew on both her rich Hindu heritage and Western medicine to find healing."

Gayathri Ramprasad is the founder and president of ASHA International, a non-profit organization promoting personal, organizational, and community wellness. She is a member of the Global Speakers Federation and the winner of the prestigious Eli Lilly Welcome Back Award for Lifetime Achievement and the Voice Award for Consumer Leadership sponsored by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA).