Synopses & Reviews
The first book specifically for daughters suffering from the emotional abuse of selfish, self-involved mothers, Will I Ever Be Good Enough?
provides the expert assistance you need in order to overcome this debilitating history and reclaim your life for yourself. Drawing on over two decades of experience as a therapist specializing in women's psychology and health, psychotherapist Dr. Karyl McBride helpsyou recognize the widespread effects of this maternal emotional abuse and guides you as you create an individualized program for self-protection, resolution, and complete recovery.
An estimated 1.5 million American women have narcissistic personality disorder, which makes them so insecure and overbearing, insensitive and domineering that they can psychologically damage their daughters for life. Daughters of narcissistic mothers learn that maternal love is not unconditional, and that it is given only when they behave in accordance with their mothers' often unreasonable expectations and whims. As adults, these daughters consequently have difficulty overcoming their insecurities and feelings of inadequacy, disappointment, sadness, and emotional emptiness. They may also have a terrible fear of abandonment that leads them to form unhealthy love relationships, as well as a tendency to perfectionism and unrelenting self-criticism, or to self-sabotage and frustration.
Herself the recovering daughter of a narcissistic mother, Dr. McBride includes her personal struggle, which adds a profound level of authority to her work, along with the perspectives of the hundreds of suffering daughters she's interviewed over the years. Their stories of how maternal abuse has manifested in their lives -- as well as how they have successfully overcome its effects -- show you that you're not alone and that you can take back your life and have the control you want.
Dr. McBride's step-by-step program will enable you to:
(1) Recognize your own experience with maternal narcissism and its effects on all aspects of your life
(2) Discover how you have internalized verbal and nonverbal messages from your mother and how these have translated into a strong desire to overachieve or a tendency to self-sabotage
(3) Construct a step-by-step program to reclaim your life and enhance your sense of self, a process that includes creating a psychological separation from your mother and breaking the legacy of abuse. You will also learn how not to repeat your mother's mistakes with your own daughter.
Warm and sympathetic, filled with the examples of women who have established healthy boundaries with their hurtful mothers, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? encourages and inspires you as it aids your recovery.
"Will I Ever Be Good Enough? illuminates a very common and unnamed wound -- the wound that results from growing up with a narcissistic mother. In this engaging book, Karyl McBride provides a clear, honest, and effective way to heal this wound and live life fully and joyfully." -- Christiane Northrup, M.D., author of Mother-Daughter Wisdom, The Wisdom of Menopause, and Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom
"Dr. Karyl McBride has convened a fellowship of female voices to describe every flavor of experience with maternal narcissism. However marginalized from the mainstream of mother-daughter relationships you may have felt before this, you are no longer alone on the road to recovery." -- Sandy Hotchkiss, Psy.D., L.C.S.W., author of Why Is It Always About You?
"Will I Ever Be Good Enough? is an amazing journey out of pain. Providing true professional guidance and clarity, Dr. Karyl McBride heaps in genuine love and kindness. This book is like having an ideal therapist at your convenience, who really helps you heal self-doubt and self-rejection. Every page is milk and honey to your soul." -- Tama J. Kieves, author of This Time I Dance! Creating the Work You Love (How One Harvard Lawyer Left It All to Have It All!)
About the Author
Dr. Karyl McBride, a licensed marriage and family therapist with more than twenty-eight years of experience in public and private practice, specializes in treatment of trauma and family-of-origin issues and has served as an expert witness in numerous civil and criminal cases involving children and sexual abuse. She lives in Denver, Colorado.
Table of Contents
Part One: Recognizing the Problem
Chapter 1 The Emotional Burden You Carry
Chapter 2 T he Empty Mirror: My Mother and Me
Chapter 3 The Faces of Maternal Narcissism
Chapter 4 Where Is Daddy? The Rest of the Narcissistic Nest
Chapter 5 Image Is Everything: Put a Smile on That Pretty Little Face
Part Two: How Narcissistic Mothering Afects Your Entire Life
Chapter 6 I Try So Hard! The High-Achieving Daughter
Chapter 7 What's the Use? The Self-Sabotaging Daughter
Chapter 8 Romantic Fallout: Trying to Win at Love Where I Failed with Mom
Chapter 9 Help! I'm Becoming My Mother: Daughters as Mothers
Part Three: Ending the Legacy
Chapter 10 First Steps: How It Feels, Not How It Looks
Chapter 11 A Part Of and Apart From: Separating from Mother
Chapter 12 Becoming the Woman I Truly Am: Deserving Daughters
Chapter 13 My Turn: Dealing with Mother during Recovery
Chapter 14 Filling the Empty Mirror: Ending the Narcissistic Legacy
Suggested Reading and Movie Viewing Source Lists