I'm slightly less hungover today! The second day of publication went swimmingly. I got up, passed out, got up again, read from the Holy Bible, cried a little (Leviticus is like so sad), took a power nap, and then went to read to another nice crowd of people in New York's Bryant Park. My readers are the best! They brought me a collage of pictures from eight years of past readings, which effectively documented my physical decline. Man, was I hairy back in 2002. Why didn't someone shave me?
More problems with Sharyn, my intern. The former vice president won't return her calls and she's taking it out on me. Also, her Bravo special fell through, and now she's all into this "Lady Gar-Gar" thing, she wants me to wear these stylized bras and a pink diving suit to readings. I don't know. Maybe in Portland.
Oh, I found a cause to believe in! Global warming. I know, I know, people have been all over that thing for years like Mr. Gore on Sharyn, but as some of you may know my best friend is a longhaired dachshund. Felix is his name; he's the sweetest thing ever (he starred in my trailer opposite Jeffrey Eugenides) and every time I see him in the 110-degree New York weather, just slowly sweating away to nothing, well... it makes me want to cry big fat biblical tears all over his soft fur. People, let's cut down on carbon emissions! I for one am going to power down this powerbook and go right back to sleep next to Felix. Until tomorrow, my friends. Zzzzz....