50
Used, New, and Out of Print Books - We Buy and Sell - Powell's Books
Cart |
|  my account  |  wish list  |  help   |  800-878-7323
Hello, | Login
MENU
  • Browse
    • New Arrivals
    • Bestsellers
    • Featured Preorders
    • Award Winners
    • Audio Books
    • See All Subjects
  • Used
  • Staff Picks
    • Staff Picks
    • Picks of the Month
    • Bookseller Displays
    • 50 Books for 50 Years
    • 25 Best 21st Century Sci-Fi & Fantasy
    • 25 PNW Books to Read Before You Die
    • 25 Books From the 21st Century
    • 25 Memoirs to Read Before You Die
    • 25 Global Books to Read Before You Die
    • 25 Women to Read Before You Die
    • 25 Books to Read Before You Die
  • Gifts
    • Gift Cards & eGift Cards
    • Powell's Souvenirs
    • Journals and Notebooks
    • socks
    • Games
  • Sell Books
  • Blog
  • Events
  • Find A Store

PowellsBooks.Blog
Authors, readers, critics, media − and booksellers.

Guests

The Internet: Keeping Your Ex Jealous Since 2004

by Chris Force, August 6, 2010 9:00 AM
No one reads anymore. You're wasting your time with all those bookshelves, organizing schemes, and online wish lists. So just knock it off already. Stick to Twitter and Facebook like the rest of us. The only comfort to be found in the written word is what an old friend ate for lunch, that a co-worker is "super stoked" for some upcoming trip involving a BBQ, and that your ex is still a cheating slut and just "checked in with two others" to what used to be your favorite rock club.

So quit already.

You can hit CNN.com maybe, or one of those flippy eMags on your iBook if you must. But for real, stop reading, stop writing. If you're thinking, reading, contemplating, you're not buying! So please, stop reading and start buying shit! (But not books, of course. Those are stupid and soooo 2006.)

Yes, you're going to miss out on some things. You might not have a radical transformation in your life like I did when my friend let me borrow The Autobiography of Malcolm X. But all that did was make me righteous and angry, and what good are those emotions? All I did was start making stupid zines and selling them in parking lots. Try putting that on your résumé!

You won't need to waste your time on books by Ghandi and that Dalai Lama guy with the maroon bathrobe. You won't sit in the back of a rented U-Haul van, only to have most of your personal belongings stolen, and spend a sleepless night in a podunk town's holding cell all because you read Get in the Van and thought it would be fun to go on tour with a shitty punk band. Stick to the Internet and make a cheeky comment about that iPhone photo of your friend's sausage they just grilled up. And do it from the comfort of your couch! Much safer and better for the economy.

Anyway, reading sucks. And writing is just selfish (and unprofitable!), so don't waste your time. The only perk to writing a book like Invisible is picking up a few PowellsBooks.Blog groupies, and for real, they've got some hygiene and posture problems.

If you MUST continue to buy books, and read nonsense like Invisible, you should at least venture out and see some of these bands and artists perform live. You might just get laid, and that, of course, is what really matters. That and you can check in at the club on foursquare and really piss off your ex.




Books mentioned in this post

Get In The Van 2nd Edition

Henry Rollins

ALARM 38 Invisible Overlooked Albums & Unseen Artists

Chris Force

The Autobiography of Malcolm X: As Told to Alex Haley

Malcolm X and Alex Haley
{1}
##LOC[OK]##
{1}
##LOC[OK]## ##LOC[Cancel]##
{1}
##LOC[OK]## ##LOC[Cancel]##

Most Read

  1. Best Books of 2022: Fiction by Powell's Staff
  2. The Big List of Backlist: Books That Got Us Through 2022 by Powell's Staff
  3. 25 Books to Read Before You Die: 21st Century by Powell's Staff
  4. Powell's 2023 Book Preview: The First Quarter by Powell's Staff
  5. 7 Essential Authors Recommend Their 7 Essential Sci-Fi and Fantasy Books by Powell's Staff

Blog Categories

  • Interviews
  • Original Essays
  • Lists
  • Q&As
  • Playlists
  • Portrait of a Bookseller
  • City of Readers
  • Required Reading
  • Powell's Picks Spotlight

One Response to "The Internet: Keeping Your Ex Jealous Since 2004"

manwith7talents August 6, 2010 at 09:52 AM
My posture is excellent, thank you very much.

Result(s) 1

Post a comment:

*Required Fields
Name*
Email*
  1. Please note:
  2. All comments require moderation by Powells.com staff.
  3. Comments submitted on weekends might take until Monday to appear.
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Pinterest
  • Instagram

  • Help
  • Guarantee
  • My Account
  • Careers
  • About Us
  • Security
  • Wish List
  • Partners
  • Contact Us
  • Shipping
  • Transparency ACT MRF
  • Sitemap
  • © 2023 POWELLS.COM Terms