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There Is No Vegan's Dilemma

by Isa Chandra Moskowitz, August 14, 2009 12:31 PM
I'm late with my Powell's blog today! Okay, I'm not actually late, but I wrote this whole thing called "Portland: Why Aren't You Vegan?" and it came out really wrong. Here's a snippet:

More specifically: bike riding, canvas bag shopping, water bottle sipping, book reading, farmer's market being, sustainable, shade grown, local, fair trading, Morrissey listening, recycled footwearing, why aren't you vegan? Especially those of you with the Baby Bjorn. Those fabric diapers don't cancel out that free range chicken salad. Don't you want your children's children to have one of those awesome earths that we had when we were growing up?

But my god, that is offensive. And yet, while I have the ear of Portland, I would like to speak about it. Problem is, it's really hard to talk about stuff without coming across as a judgmental asshole. Like when you try to get your parents not to shop at Walmart, or vote for McCain, or be anti-semitic or whatever — it's touchy and delicate. But here I go.

I remember when I first understood the concept of vegetarianism, even if I didn't know the word. I grew up in the projects in Brooklyn. Single mom, brother and sister and me, plus our cats. Obviously we were lower class; although our apartment was spacious, middle-class people weren't exact moving to the projects for the open floor plans and oversized windows. Our dinners consisted mostly of Hamburger Helper, frozen pizza, and take out. One night my mom brought home the ultimate in luxury: a bucket full of fried chicken. I can still kind of taste it, all salty and greasy and comforting. Which makes me think our tastebuds hold on to memory much longer than our brains do.

Well, I got down to the end of my chicken thigh and exposed the bone. There was something gristly on it and that gristle set off a lightbulb in my head. I made the connection: bone = animal. Animal = cat. I realized that this chicken we were eating is the same as that chicken we saw at the petting zoo. And the horrors kept funneling in: hamburgers were cows, bacon was pigs. I didn't go vegan right then and there, I don't even think I was finished with second grade. But it did spark something in me.

I had a few failed attempts at vegetarianism over the years, but it finally clicked with me in high school and yes, fine, it was the Smiths' Meat is Murder. Nothing subtle about that. It's death for no reason and death for no reason is murder. I know a lot of us tried vegetarianism in high school. In fact, some people think that their two week stint with a veggie burger justifies their meat eating for the rest of their lives. But it stuck for me, I think simply because I kept my eyes and, sob, my heart open and remembered that initial spark. I just couldn't shake the feeling that eating a pig would be no different from eating a dog. Taking a life is pretty serious stuff and you better have a goddam good reason.

It's something like 20 years later and veganism in America is incredibly different in 2009. For one, if the lives of animals don't interest you, we have solid environmentalist reasons for promoting veganism. I like to joke that the end of the world is the best thing that ever happened to animal rights. But the sad truth is, we're eating ourselves into oblivion. There is no such thing as sustainable meat. The methane alone would destroy the environment, free range grass fed or not. And if everyone hunted their own meat, the animals would be gone before you could say "carrying capacity." But 20 years ago people wouldn't have even pretended to care about a cow. All the happy meat stuff at least shows that we do care, and if we do, let's cut through the bullshit. There is no vegan's dilemma! Stuff we'd need to work out, sure. Dilemma, no. And if you don't care, well, then I have a "People Eating Tasty Animals" beer hat I'd like to sell you.

Speaking of which, you don't have to be a PETA supporter to be vegan! So before you get scared that you will be forced to to lie naked in the street in shrink wrap, here are a couple of pretty awesome organizations where you can learn more.

Farm Sanctuary

Once you've looked into the eyes of one of these rescued animals, you'll never want to eat a lambchop again.

Compassion Over Killing

They do lots of good stuff, like getting companies and restaurants to go vegan or have more vegan options.

In Defense Of Animals

They have a Portland chapter and do lots of work for all kinds of animals. If dogs and cats ain't your thing, they work to get elephants out of circuses, and stuff like that.

And before the usuals comment, let me beat them to the punch.

meatismurdertastytastymurder

mydoctortoldmetoeatmeat

ieatonlyfreerange

vegansarefat

vegansareemaciated

humanshavecanineteeth

otheranimalseatmeat

itsthecircleoflife

omigodthismademehungryforbacon

BREATH

plantshavefeelingstoo




Books mentioned in this post

Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World 75 Dairy Free Recipes for Cupcakes That Rule

Isa Chandra Moskowitz

Vegan Brunch Homestyle Recipes Worth Waking Up For From Asparagus Omelets to Strawberry Pancakes

Isa Chandra Moskowitz

Veganomicon

Isa Chandra Moskowitz
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81 Responses to "There Is No Vegan's Dilemma"

Ally G. January 19, 2010 at 08:18 PM
Well said! Let the f$#*&rs keep eating their precious meat. They'll be dead around 50, if not earlier. Hehe. Enjoy the heart attack, ya damn fools...

whole September 11, 2009 at 09:32 PM
If we're debating energy efficiency here, for every acre of food grown for us, there are 8 acres across America being grown to feed livestock exclusively. In addition it takes well over 2500 gallons (in the realm of 10000 litres) of water to produce one pound of beef (both stats grabbed from Cornell studies). That same pound of beef is also responsible for the same amount of carbon dioxide emitted by a car every 80 miles and burns enough energy to light a 100-watt (super bright) light bulb for almost 10 days (not including the styrofoam or cling film). I won't even begin to discuss the inefficiency your body will have absorbing the nutrients of that same pound of beef (in the realm of 1-8% efficiency at most, dependant on quantity eaten and eater's health and body pH) or this pound of beef's effects on your hormones, decrease in your body's pH and rise in your cortisol (stress hormone) levels. Meat may be murder, but it's also suicide.

DeniseB September 9, 2009 at 10:03 PM
Hah! Manwith, you made me laugh! What is the deal with all the talk of pot smoking and vegans? I have never associated the two - is that a Pacific northwestern thing? And, I hate to remind you but you DID say you would become a vegan if you got a "get out of Morrissey-listening" free card....

manwith7talents September 9, 2009 at 02:35 PM
You may call me manwith.

DeniseB September 8, 2009 at 03:26 PM
Well stated Mr Talent (or may I call you 7?)

manwith7talents September 8, 2009 at 11:52 AM
Like I said, I'm not a vegan and not likely to become one, but the whole thing about vegetables having feelings just like animals is just ridiculous. Most fruits and vegetables are seed-bearing parts of plants that evolved specifically to be eaten by animals so the seeds could be spread. There's simply no comparison. While some vegans smoke - and I always find this hilarious - it doesn't invalidate their choice to be vegan. The marijuana argument is even more irrelevant, as it's a weed that grows wild in all 50 states. Plus, marijuana is the blessed sacrament of Jah Rastafari, while a pork chop is simply a pork chop.

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