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by Cesar Millan, November 20, 2007 11:26 AM
My family lives in a typical suburban neighborhood in Southern California, and our cul de sac is overrun with kids. This Halloween while my 13 year old son Andre took 9 year old Calvin trick or treating, my wife and I got to watch a virtual parade of ghosts and goblins, vampires and witches, superheroes and cartoon characters as they came and went from our front door. But there was something else we noticed and got a big kick out of ? all the dressed up dogs. We were entertained by Labs dressed up as ballerinas, English bulldogs dressed up as NFL players, and Yorkies dressed up like little bandits. The market for doggie Halloween outfits must certainly be booming! Of course this is all harmless fun, but seeing this pageant of dogs in their cute outfits got me thinking about our powerful need to humanize our dogs. We give them human names, and we put them to sleep on doggie canopy beds. We speak to them in full sentences and paragraphs. We train our children very young to humanize animals by creating cartoon characters of critters that talk, rationalize, live in houses, drive cars…and even defy the laws of gravity like the Roadrunner & Wile E. Coyote. Humans seem to have an innate need to make over our world in our own image. In a metaphorical sense, we continue to "dress up" our dogs as humans, even after Halloween is over. My clients often say about their dogs, "Oh, he thinks he's a human" when the dog does something "cute," or when he begs scraps from the table, "He wishes he were a person." In my opinion, if animals could indeed "wish" why would on earth would they want to be like us? We're the most unstable, destructive, restless, and lonely species on the planet! In my opinion, it might make more sense for people to wish they were more like dogs. As a kid growing up around dogs, I fell in love with their grace, dignity and wisdom. They naturally had everything I wanted ? peace, order, joy, sense of purpose. They got up in the morning instinctively knowing what they were here to do and how to enjoy the day. They lived in the moment. All my life, I have learned from them far more than they could be able to learn from me. Just imagine what our world would be like if all people would learn from their dogs and adopt their best qualitie! There would be no more lying. There would be a lot of integrity in the world and people would mean what they say. People would have gratitude and appreciate life all the time. They'd live in the present and not worry about the future. They wouldn't obsess over the past. They would appreciate the small things and never get tired or bored with the activities that bring them joy. When people faced problems or conflicts, they would find the simplest route to resolving them. They'd have a full range of emotions, but not get stuck in any one of them. They'd move on from trauma much faster, without much lasting damage. Friends would always be loyal, and people would trust their instincts and know a friend from an enemy right away and they would know to keep a safe distance from a volatile person. They would follow the best person for the job, not the one with the most money or biggest ego. An they would never again follow another unstable leader! Humanizing our dogs is something we do for us, not for them. But the beautiful thing about dogs is that they are drawn to balance like a magnet. Almost every dog has the ability to bounce back from an unbalanced state to a balanced one ? that is what dogs "wish" for! The peace and joy that comes from having a balanced dog is like manna from heaven for a human. Perhaps we should take a breather from our busy lives and really study our dog's innate natures. Then instead of trying to squeeze them into the "costumes" of humans, we will be able to appreciate the amazing creatures they truly are. And maybe, we can even become better people from their
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Guests
by Cesar Millan, November 19, 2007 12:30 PM
In Cesar's Way, I introduced the concept of communicating with your dog through energy, which is the universal language of feeling and emotion. In my new book, Be the Pack Leader, I go into much more depth about specific ways to harness the power of energy in our everyday lives, and most importantly, how to become aware of the energy you are projecting at any given moment. Many people have conversations with their dogs, trying to reason with them. Then they get frustrated and angry when their dogs don't "listen." When we try to convince our dogs to get off the couch using words, bribes, flattery or threats, we are using human psychology on a dog. What the dog is "hearing" is not that we love him, or are promising him a day at the dog park if he gets off the couch, or the threat that we'll make him stay in the garage all night. What the dog is really picking up from us is our energy, which in this case, would be anger and frustration. And animals don't follow or respect frustrated or angry energy ? those energies represent instability to them. The only energy that animals follow naturally is what I call a calm-assertive energy. The communication we need to pay attention to is not the verbal part; it's the energy behind it and the other clues we are giving them as to what we really mean. For example, you say to you dog, "You want to go for a walk?" You may not even be aware of it, but you may also be looking toward the door, picking up the leash, and slipping on your walking shoes. In a dog's mind, they don't care about the words, but they understand and register every other cue you are giving them. They come to know that every time the human goes into this state, this means we are going to the park. When you come home from work to find that your dog has eaten your couch, your dog is not cowering because he "feels guilty" and knows he's done something "bad." He's cowering because he's picking up your furious energy the instant you register the fact that your beautiful couch is destroyed. We forget is that we are communicating with our dogs all the time, even if it's not with words. Even when we are asleep, dogs are in tune with our rhythms; they know whether we are having a bad dream, a good dream, or an anxious dream. As long as you are alive, you are talking with your dogs. They don't care what you're saying or what language you are speaking but they absolutely care about the energy you are projecting. That's why it's much more important to be aware of your energy with your dog, not what words you are
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Guests
by Cesar Millan, November 17, 2007 10:40 AM
Many adventure stories ? most fictional but some based on truth ? describe the saga of a person lost in the jungle or on a cold arctic plain. The human is "adopted" by a wolf or dog, who rescues him, keeps him alive and leads him to safety. It's also interesting to note that most of the legendary stories of feral children describe infants raised by wolves, and not by our much closer relatives in the animal kingdom, the primates. If we were lost in the wild, a dog (or canine-related species) would indeed be a wise choice for a leader to help us navigate its perils. Canids, both wild and domesticated, are among nature's hardiest and most successful survivors, and their social structures closely parallel our own. But when we bring dogs into our modern, industrialized lives, the situation is reversed. We must take on the leadership role. That's because we are bringing them into our world, not the other way around. How can we expect a dog to be able to navigate modern threats and dangers, like electrical wires and outlets, traffic, grocery stores, and can openers? Like the lost human wanderer in the woods, a dog needs an owner who can create the safety and structure to guide her through this strange and often hostile new world. Some dog lovers protest when I ask them to step up to the plate and become a pack leader. "But I want my dog to feel equal to me," they say. "I want my dog to have the freedom to do what she wants." My response is that, first of all, dogs are equal to us. Humans as a species, in my opinion, are certainly not "better" than dogs. But that doesn't mean dogs want to take part in a democracy when they are living in a confusing human world. Secondly, what does "freedom" mean to a dog when her survival depends totally on humans? To enjoy any freedom that life has to offer, a dog has to feel safe. That means living in an orderly society, where the social structure is clear and unambiguous, where everybody knows his or her place, and where the dogs' primal needs for exercise, structure, and affection are met fairly and consistently. I believe as dog owners and Pack Leaders, we have to become like that mythical wolf that rescues our human hero in the forest. We need to provide for our dogs a clear path to safety, so they can live happily among us in our modern jungles
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Guests
by Cesar Millan, November 16, 2007 11:35 AM
When it comes to creating a healthy, happy, and truly fulfilling relationship between you and your dog, two essential ingredients are required: trust and respect. Those are the two building blocks of great leadership. If you do not share both these two qualities with your dog ? you toward her, and she toward you ? then your relationship with that dog needs some work. Of course, you can accomplish trust with your dog and not have respect; and you can have respect from your dog but not have earned her trust. For example, John and Jenny Grogan, of Marley and Me fame, had plenty of trust from their dog Marley. Marley was devoted, loving, and loyal ? all the things we expect in a family dog, but Marley was out of control and didn't obey commands. When your dog leaves you and your family sitting at an outdoor café to go chase another dog, that is pretty clear proof that your dog does not respect you. I recently handled a case where a very fearful dog respected and obeyed his handlers, but did not trust them to protect him from traumatic events like thunder and lightning. In both of those cases, the human owners were frustrated, and the dogs' behavior unpredictable. We often neglect to remember that trust and respect go both ways. If we don't trust our dogs, how can they trust us? If we don't respect our dogs, and honor their animal natures, how can we expect them to respect us in return? Nothing in a human-dog relationship is a one-way street. You cannot be an effective leader if you do not achieve mutual trust and respect from your followers, no matter what species they inhabit. But trust and respect aren't only the ingredients of good leadership. They are also the essential qualities of any loving relationship. For most humans, it's very important for us to feel that our dogs love us. We must remember that trust and respect are the backbone of
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by Cesar Millan, November 15, 2007 10:54 AM
Welcome, Powell's readers, to this forum on my new book, Be the Pack Leader: Use Cesar's Way to Transform Your Dog...and Your Life. Powell's readers played a huge part in helping make my first book, Cesar's Way, into an international best-seller, and I could not be more grateful to you all. I thought I'd use this first blog to address the basic concept of the pack leader that I put forth in both books ? what it means, and what it doesn't mean. For some people who aren't really familiar with my philosophies, the term "pack leader" is very easily reduced to saying that I simply want all owners to be "the boss" over their dogs. These same critics believe that when I use the terms "dominance" and "submission", it means that an owner should be to her dog like a dictator is to the suffering people of a banana republic. Since I'm not a native English speaker, I used to think this was because I was not phrasing my words correctly. But now that I've become much more proficient in English, I realize the problem is not in the words themselves, but in the bad rap these words seem to have gotten when applied to the human-dog relationship. For a moment, forget the terms "dominance" and "submission," especially if for some reason, those words have a negative meaning for you. Instead, think of being a "Pack Leader" as being the person in a position of responsibility to another person or animal. Because, to me, "responsibility" and "leadership" are two sides of the same coin. Did you know that, in the wild, animals that are born leaders have higher levels of stress ? and often shorter lives ? than those of their followers? That's because they don't take on the role of pack leader for the cash and prizes involved. Animals don't have egos. They take on leadership because they are born into it, and they take it very seriously. In our world as well, it's much easier to be a follower than a leader. A leader has to wake up in the morning, already making silent decisions that will affect the rest of the pack, whether you are a soccer coach, a mom, or a broker on Wall Street. When you take on ownership of a dog, you become responsible for that dog's food, water, shelter and health. But to truly develop an amazing relationship with your dog, you also need to be responsible for that dog's fulfillment in the forms of exercise, discipline (meaning setting fair and consistent rules, boundaries and limitations) and of course, affection (meaning you give affection freely, but only after it has been earned.) Being a pack leader to your dog doesn't mean you are there to "boss your dog around." It means you are there to give your dog the structure and guidance he needs to have the best, more stress-free and most fulfilling life possible, given the realities of being a dog living in a human
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