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Powell's Staff:
Five Book Friday: In Memoriam
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Every year, the booksellers at Powell’s submit their Top Fives: their five favorite books that were released in 2023. It’s a list that, when put together, shows just how varied and interesting the book tastes of Powell’s booksellers are. I highly recommend digging into the recommendations — we would never lead you astray — but today...
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Brontez Purnell:
Powell’s Q&A: Brontez Purnell, author of ‘Ten Bridges I’ve Burnt’
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Rachael P.:
Starter Pack: Where to Begin with Ursula K. Le Guin
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Customer Comments
Book Dads has commented on (35) products
Travel Team
by
Mike Lupica
Book Dads
, January 15, 2010
Danny Walker has lots of heart, but heart is not always enough when you’re always the shortest kid on the basketball team. Despite his skills and drive, Danny gets cut from the local travel team for reasons that may have everything, or nothing, to do with his height. And it’s not just any team, it’s the one that his dad Richie led to a national championship when he was a boy. It’s not fair, but Danny doesn’t expect help from anyone – least of all his dad. The injury that took Richie Walker out of the game of basketball also put his entire life into a tailspin, leaving him a divorced and aimless drifter with only the memory of his glory days left. But when Danny’s dad comes back into town and into his life, he volunteers to coach another travel team himself, one made up of all the kids who were cut just like Danny was. Together, Danny, his father, and their ragtag team hit the court for their own shot at the championship and personal redemption. Danny’s relationship with his father is front and center in this story, and once again author Mike Lupica () shows us that he deeply understands the emotional life of boys. He shows us through Danny’s eyes how a boy’s drive and his love of basketball collide with an adult world of ambition and small-town politics. Travel Team is also a story of a boy growing up in a divorced family, and of how his life has changed even as he remains the son of both of his parents. Danny understands each of his parents in a way that they don’t understand each other, and this is most evident between Danny and his father. Richie Walker is a man who has met the challenges of life and been – or rather, allowed himself to be – defeated by them. Despite this, Danny never stops looking up to his father and seeing his admirable qualities, even as he also unflinchingly sees his father’s shortcomings. Richie Walker can’t put his life back together by himself, but by trying to be a better father for his son he also becomes a better man for himself. Travel Team attests to the deep and sustaining bond that can exist between fathers and sons despite the realities of life that can conspire to push them apart, and is a book about a lot more than just basketball.
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Sleepy Boy
by
Polly Kanevsky
Book Dads
, January 14, 2010
A little boy has had a busy day, watching lions in the zoo. Now he is a sleepy boy who can’t sleep, so his father lies beside him in bed and tells him to close his eyes. As the boy hears the sounds of his mother moving in the house and slowly drifts into sleep, he feels his father’s presence beside him. He peeks an eye open to look into his father’s eye, hears his father’s slow breathing, feels his father’s scratchy chin and smells the scent of his soap. The illustrations, diffuse and softly glowing, perfectly portray the sleepy feeling of the story and the imaginary little lion cub who comes to visit. A wonderful book that perfectly evokes and celebrates what it feels like for a little boy to be in the physical presence of his father.
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Caillou Just Like Daddy
by
Chouette
Book Dads
, December 27, 2009
The toddler Caillou – from the popular series of children’s books and videos – learns all about daddies in this short book. Parents should be cautioned that Caillou asks how he was born on the very first page! Caillou finds out what it was like when he was a baby, decides that he wants to be like daddy too, and learns that his daddy has a daddy as well. Just Like Daddy is written in very simple and straightforward sentences, like the other Caillou books. This makes the book easy to understand for toddlers, especially when explaining new ideas. Caillou stories are also notable for describing the – sometimes powerful – emotions that toddlers can feel, and young children seem to find this aspect of these stories both interesting and validating. So we learn not only what Caillou thinks about having a daddy (and a grandpa) but what he feels about it as well. The illustrations are in the signature Caillou style, and easy for toddlers to comprehend. Adoptive or step-fathers should be cautioned that this book emphasizes the biological relationship between fathers and children, including aspects like having the same eye color.
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The Printer
by
Myron Uhlberg
Book Dads
, December 13, 2009
The young boy who narrates from this story from the mid-1940s has a father with a very special job: he is a printer, and works with the giant printing presses that print millions of newspapers every day. His father is very proud of his job using his hands to compose type for the presses, and his son is very proud of him too. Each day when the father returns home with a fresh paper, he makes a newspaper hat for his son that the boy wears until bedtime. His father also does something else with his hands: he speaks using American Sign Language. Because the father is deaf, he feels isolated from his hearing coworkers. But he still has many friends at work; other deaf men who also work with the presses since they are not bothered by the noise of the monstrous machines, although they can feel the vibration through the soles of their feet. One day his father notices a fire in the building, and the ensuing disaster becomes an event that brings the deaf and hearing workers together and that makes him a hero. An underlying theme in The Printer is the love that the father has for his work, and the respect and admiration that evokes in his son. Much has been written in current times about the capacity of modern work to alienate fathers from their children. By contrast, in The Printer the father’s work becomes a way for his son to understand his father better. The paintings by Henri Sorenson that illustrate the story not only evoke the historical period, but also have a dreamlike quality to them appropriate for the story of a memory. The Author’s Note at the end of the book explains the parts of the story that are true and based on the life of the author’s own father. It also explains further about conditions working with the printing presses, the history of deaf people, and American Sign Language including one of the signs used in the book. The end of the book explains the tradition of newspaper hats and gives instructions for making your own. The Printer is a touching story that is elegantly told, about a hardworking and heroic father as seen through the eyes of his son.
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Zen Shorts
by
Muth, Jon J.
Book Dads
, December 11, 2009
Zen Shorts is a sequel to the delightful Zen Ties that features the further adventures of Stillwater the Giant Panda. One day Stillwater moves into the neighborhood of the siblings Addy, Michael, and Karl. The next day, Addy goes to visit Stillwater at his house and finds him sitting in the backyard in a tent that was a gift from his Uncle Ry, and tells her a Zen teaching story featuring Uncle Ry that is about generosity and non-attachment. In the following days first Michael and then Karl visit Stillwater, and he shares a story with each of them. By the end of the book, Stillwater’s gentle teaching has brought the siblings closer. Muth has done a wonderful job of adapting classic Zen teaching stories for a younger audience. Each is told quite briefly with evocative black and white drawings and animal characters that will engage children’s attention. A short Author’s Note at the end of the book explains a little more about Zen and the stories, and parents can find more of these stories for interested children in one of the classic references such as Zen Flesh, Zen Bones. Like a spoonful of sugar, Zen Shorts imparts ancient wisdom about life to children in a painless and charming way.
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Pennies in a Jar
by
Dori Chaconas
Book Dads
, December 10, 2009
Pennies in a Jar takes place on the American “home front” during World War Two. The young boy who narrates the story misses his father who has gone away to fight in the war. When his father left, he hugged his son and told him to be brave. But the boy is afraid of so many things, like how he and is mother have to take care of themselves, and the loud sirens during the air raid drills, and of what will happen to his father. Most of all, he’s afraid of the large street horses. Because of gasoline rationing, horses were often used to pull trade wagons for everyday deliveries like milk or garbage collection. As he sits on his front porch counting pennies to buy his father a special birthday present, the big scary horses travel by again and again pulling their carts. What kind of present could he buy that would show his soldier father that he is being brave too? Pennies in a Jar relates a touching story about fathers and sons while at the same time colorfully depicting life during a unique time in American history. This book shows how things like collecting paper and scrap metal for the war effort and missing absent family members were part of everyday life for adults and children alike. The Author’s Note at the end of the book explains more about wartime life, and will help answer questions that children may have about the unfamiliar aspects of the setting. The paintings by Ted Lewin that illustrate the book not only bring the setting to life, but they wonderfully depict the characters in the story and are especially effective at portraying the emotions of the little boy who narrates the tale. It is those emotions that are the most powerful part of this book, and the author writes simply yet compassionately of a young boy’s fears, of his longing for his father, and of his resolve to be brave. Pennies in a Jar is a book about how much children need their fathers, and of how even fathers who have to be far away can still support and inspire their children to be their best.
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A Walk in New York
by
Salvatore Rubbino
Book Dads
, December 09, 2009
A boy and his dad go for a sightseeing tour in New York City in this picture book whose illustrations engagingly depict the excitement and constant activity of New York City combined with the energetic enjoyment of a day out with dad. Each page is filled with lots of details for children to notice, from the variety of people in busy Grand Central Station to the shadows in the windows of Manhattan apartments. Together, the boy and his father visit many of New York City’s most famous landmarks, such as the Empire State Building and Union Square Park, and also experience many of the other features that give New York its unique flavor, such as hot dogs from street vendors and the cafes of Greenwich Village. Factoids about New York in smaller type are scattered throughout the pictures; these can optionally be read in addition to the main text for older children. This is a spirited book about an exciting city and a fun day of sightseeing together for father and son.
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Pacify Me: A Handbook for the Freaked-Out New Dad
by
Chris Mancini
Book Dads
, December 08, 2009
Pacify Me is a book for expectant and new fathers that derives its unusual charm from an unexpected combination of two very different elements. The first is "tongue in cheek but you know it's so true" humor, and if this were all that was to be found in Pacify Me, then there would be little to distinguish it from the number of other books of wry and entertaining reflections on modern fatherhood. Not that Mancini’s observations aren’t both funny and insightful. He begins his family's story at the beginning, with their initially futile attempts to get pregnant (“At some point the sex got so routine that I began describing it as 'Our Duty to the Party'”) until his wife begins to track her ovulation cycle (“Let me just say right now that science is not to be trusted. Sure, Thermoses and video games are great, but men never count on the dreaded ovulation kit.”). Then it’s on to birth classes and a particularly explicit video (“For the love of God, it was worse than anything shown in Driver's Ed.”), and surviving the roller-coaster of his wife’s pregnancy (“Pregnant women are beautiful. Yes, especially when they're screaming at you for something you did four years ago ... Saying pregnant women are beautiful is just a clever tactic to calm pregnant women down.”). After the hospital (“Is it just me or do they keep the babies in trays that look disturbingly similar to those bins you put your belongings on in an airport security line?”), getting the baby home (“The car-seat straps look like diabolical tethers designed by Erno Rubik.”), and weathering the onslaught of eager relatives (“Your family will want to see the new baby and you can easily trick them into doing some of the care. It's like you're Tom Sawyer and your baby is a fence that needs painting.”), he finally settles down to the ongoing adventure of having a child in the house (“Remember, visiting toddlers are like miniature coked-up, eighteenth-century gold miners and a new house is like California to them”). Yet when you least expect it, Mancini also slips in profound and candid truths about fatherhood. These are most evident when he is discussing his own reluctant journey towards becoming a father. At first, Mancini is ambivalent about the prospect of becoming a father, and when he begins experiencing symptoms from the stress he goes to see his doctor for advice (“Then he said something really profound to me: “No man wants a child until it's in his arms. I had to think about it for a minute and I remember hoping he was right.”). Even when his daughter is born he doesn't immediately feel what fathers are expected to feel (“It was most certainly not love at first sight. I was in too much shock to feel much of anything. I just looked at this screaming little monkey covered in Ghostbusters slime and if anything, I felt a detachment.”). But given time, it happens naturally and in its own way (“I was sitting there quietly in an uncomfortable hospital chair and holding my new daughter. I looked at her. That was the moment. The moment I fell in love with my child. It wasn't in the delivery room and it wasn't instantly. It took a couple of days but when it happened, it happened.”) Mancini is able to discuss what is a deeply emotional subject honestly, yet without being maudlin or overblown about it. Pacify Me has more than its share of insightful humor (“When your child projectile vomits in the car, your wife's first reaction will always be, 'My baby!' Your first reaction will always be, 'My car!'”) mixed with equally insightful observations about fatherhood (“Having a child embraces your inner child and you get to live your childhood all over again through their eyes. It's almost like taking a refresher course on childhood ... So we don't lose our inner child. What we do lose is our 'inner teenager' who is going out and getting drunk and trying to get laid at parties.”) In later chapters Mancini takes the baby book business to task for their treatment of fathers and rightfully so; Pacify Me is a tell-it-like-it-is book for new fathers that doesn't condescend.
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Always Looking Up The Adventures of an Incurable Optimist
by
Michael J Fox
Book Dads
, December 04, 2009
Always Looking Up is Michael J. Fox’s memoir of his life after Parkinson’s disease, a follow-up to his earlier book, Lucky Man. Those who remember Fox from his early days in television and movies in the 1980s won’t be disappointed in reading Always Looking Up, as Fox writes with the same familiar and disarming charm that made him such a popular actor. It is Fox’s ability to be both candid and self-effacing that makes Always Looking Up such an enjoyable read, even when Fox is describing his daily struggles with the dyskinesias and other indignities of Parkinson’s. Fox’s memoir moves backwards and forwards in time, but largely centers on the path that his life took after making his Parkinson’s diagnosis public in 1998 and retiring from his television show Spin City in 2001. Fox describes the process of finding new directions for his life, including starting the Michael J. Fox Foundation and his adventures as a political neophyte campaigning in favor of stem cell research. The book is full of famous faces, from Muhammad Ali to Robin Williams, and incredible experiences such as riding in the pace car for the final lap in the Tour de France. Yet far from seeming like a spoiled celebrity, Fox writes of these experiences with such humility and obvious amazement at his own good fortune that you readily share his enjoyment of them as well. Fox’s children, and his expectations of himself as a father, are a constant theme throughout the book. Rarely does Fox describe an episode in his life without also mentioning the whereabouts of the rest of his family, and daily parenting chores such as picking up children at preschool are woven into his stories of his professional life on the set of Spin City and elsewhere. And while Fox is quite obviously now a dedicated father, he also is honest and unashamed about describing those times when he fell short of his ideals of fatherhood due to his youth, the pressures of his career, or his struggles with alcohol. In later sections of the book, he writes deliberately about fatherhood and his four children: his eldest son Sam, his twin daughters, and his youngest daughter Esme. Fox entertainingly tells of his progression from nervous young father of an only son – recounting a hilarious-only-in-retrospect incident of Sam ending upside down in the rear passenger well of his car – to his far more relaxed fatherhood of Esme and her intent creation of “cockamamies”. He also reflects at length on the roots of his ideas on fatherhood from his experiences with his own father, and contrasts a relocation trip across the country with his family as an Army Brat with another cross-country road trip taken years later with his son Sam. Warm, compassionate and insightful, Always Looking Up is an entertaining and unpretentious memoir about life – and fatherhood – from one of America’s most familiar faces.
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Babe & I
by
David Adler
Book Dads
, December 03, 2009
“For my birthday I was hoping my parents would give me a bicycle. They only gave me a dime.” In the midst of the Great Depression in the Bronx, New York, everyone is poor. The young boy who narrates this story knows that at least his own father has a job, and leaves for work with his briefcase every morning. But soon he discovers that his father doesn’t have a job at all, and instead is selling apples on the street. When his friend Jacob gets him work selling papers as a newsboy, he finds a way to help both his family and his father – with a little help from none other than the Yankee’s famous Babe Ruth. As fathers we all try to do our best to provide for our children, but we can’t always - and perhaps shouldn’t always – shield them from economic realities, especially in hard times. Unlike more prosaic stories about the Great Depression like Mama’s Bank Account, this book is honest in expressing the complex tangle of emotions that can evolve between fathers and children when money becomes tight. The Babe & I will strike a chord instantly familiar to anyone whose family has ever struggled economically, for example when it shows the shame that fathers can feel when they can’t support their families, or the simultaneous disappointment and pride that children can feel in fathers who are struggling to provide. The stylistic illustrations by Terry Widener evoke both the feel of the period and the emotions of the characters, and are at their most powerful when portraying the relationship between the boy and his father.
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Enemy Pie
by
Derek Munson
Book Dads
, November 30, 2009
The young boy in this story has an enemy, a number-one enemy, a very best enemy. That enemy is Jeremy Ross, who lives down the street and didn’t invite a certain someone to his birthday party. Luckily, this boy’s dad has a plan for dealing with enemies: bake them an enemy pie. While Dad bakes the enemy pie – sure to be an awful and disgusting thing – according to his secret recipe, he explains his son’s part in the plan. He must spend the entire day playing with Jeremy and even be nice to him. To the surprise of both boys, after a day playing together they are feeling much more friendly. But what will happen when it’s time to serve Jeremy the pie? Enemy Pie is a book that teaches about conflict resolution and seeing enemies in a new light, without being overbearingly preachy or losing its sense of humor. The clever dad in this story provides his son with a valuable lesson without lecturing to him, and instead arranges matters so that his son can learn on his own. In the same way, sharing this book with children will encourage them to reflect upon the ideas of making friends and making enemies, and consider for themselves the merits of baking an enemy pie.
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Testing the Ice a True Story About Jackie Robinson
by
Sharon Robinson, Kadir Nelson
Book Dads
, November 24, 2009
In 1947, Jackie Robinson broke the color line and ended racial segregation in Major League Baseball by becoming the first African-American to play for the Brooklyn Dodgers. Testing the Ice is a touching memoir by his daughter Sharon that begins eight years later when Robinson helped the Brooklyn Dodgers beat the New York Yankees in the World Series. That was also the year that Robinson and his wife and three children moved from Queens to a house on six acres in rural Connecticut. For the Robinson children, the best parts of this house are the nearby lake and their new friends from the neighboring house. The children love nothing more than to swim and boat in the lake, but no matter how much they plead and cajole, their father will not get in the water with them. Sharon Robinson recounts the adventures of her family in their new home, while also incorporating the tale of how her father came to change American baseball forever. And after a chilling incident one winter when her father goes out on the lake to test the ice so that the children can go skating, she comes to appreciate anew what a brave man her father is. Touching the Ice offers a unique insight into a man who changed the face of American sports and helped launch the civil rights movement, by portraying him as a father from the view of one of his own children. While Ms. Robinson’s recollections of her father are precious in their own right, it is the illustrations by two-time Caldecott Book Honor artist Kadir Nelson that really bring this story to life. The artwork, inspired by Jackie Robinson’s personal family photographs, are warm and expressive and fluently depict the emotions of each and every one of the book’s characters. The two-page spread of a mixed group of white and African-American children listening with rapt attention as Robinson tells the story of breaking the color line is a wonder to behold, and speaks more eloquently than words of the hope for a future of racial equality that Jackie Robinson helped bring about through his personal bravery. Part family memoir, part American history lesson, part testament to fatherhood, Testing the Ice is an inspirational book for young and old alike.
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Hey, Daddy!: Animal Fathers and Their Babies
by
Mary Batten
Book Dads
, November 23, 2009
Hey, Daddy! is a book about animal fathers that is appropriate for younger readers who want to know more about this fascinating topic. This nonfiction picture book is at an intermediate level between an adult book on the subject like The Emperor’s Embrace , which discusses fatherhood throughout the animal kingdom in scientific detail, and a book for even younger children like The Very Best Daddy of All , which focuses on the love and devotion that animal fathers feel towards their offspring. Hey, Daddy! surveys animal fathers from birds to amphibians to mammals and even insects, devoting at least a page to each animal that discusses not only their parenting but also the animal’s habitat, diet, and more. All of the “stars” of animal fatherhood are included here, such as the Emperor penguin and the seahorse. But lesser-known animal fathers are also described, such as the giant waterbug who carries a hundred or more eggs stuck to his back until they hatch. And unlike other children’s books on this topic, Hey, Daddy! also frankly discusses several species in which caring for the young is solely the province of the male rather than the female. These include birds such as the mallee fowl and the phalarope, in which the female lays the eggs but takes no part in caring for them or for the chicks. While this is a nonfiction book, the tone is never too dry and interesting facts about each animal are used to keep young readers engaged. The illustrations are both lifelike and beautiful, and worthy of any natural history text. Hey, Daddy! is the perfect book for older children who are ready to learn more about the many examples of animal fathers in a way that is both informative and engaging.
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Fred Stays With Me
by
Nancy Coffelt
Book Dads
, November 22, 2009
The little girl in this story sometimes lives with her mom, and sometimes lives with her dad. Things are different in her mom’s house and in her dad’s house, but wherever she goes, her dog Fred always stays with her. But soon Fred is causing trouble at both houses, and her neither parent wants Fred to stay with them. So it’s up to her to explain that, ”Fred doesn’t stay with either of you. Fred stays with me!” This book deals with some challenging issues in a very subtle way. Though her family’s situation is clear, the words “divorce” or “separation” are never used. This book also emphasizes the importance of a child’s own feelings and their need for control in the midst of what can be a difficult situation, as well as the importance of working together as a family to solve problems. Finally, it shows commendable even-handedness in portraying both dad and mom equally and without bias to either parent. The brevity and simplicity of the text adds an additional emotional weight to the story and the illustrations – especially of Fred – are clever and engaging.
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Wolves In The Walls
by
Neil Gaiman, Mckean
Book Dads
, November 22, 2009
Collaborators Gaiman and McKean are back, this time with a children’s book both haunting and whimsical that will resonate with children and adults alike. The pair, most famous for their work together on The Sandman graphic novel series, spin a tale about Lucy, who hears noises coming from the walls of her house. No one in her family – with the exception of her pig puppet – believes her claim that there are wolves living inside the walls. And besides, they tell her, everyone knows that “If the wolves come out of the walls, it’s all over.” But late one night, they do. Yet far from being over, the adventure is just getting started for this brave little girl and her family. Gaiman is one of the premier fantasy writers of our time and his talents seem ably suited to children’s books, with their similarity to the comics format in which he made his reputation. As always, Gaiman’s stories are multilevel and steeped in metaphor, and Wolves is no exception despite being nominally written for children. For example, the wolves of the story can represent many things besides the night fears of children, including addiction and other destructive forces than can enter an adult’s life. And children respond to such symbolism instinctively, although the dark nature of the story may prove to be too much for younger children despite the lighter tones inserted by Gaiman. McKean has illustrated this book in his signature style, which combines drawing, painting, collage and found objects to create images both striking and haunting. Together, Gaiman and McKean have created a rarity, a children’s book that will be a rich experience for both children and grown adults.
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Penderwicks 02 Penderwicks on Gardam Street
by
Jeanne Birdsall
Book Dads
, November 22, 2009
In their second book, the Penderwick family is back home on Gardam Street, but getting into as much trouble as ever. It all begins when their favorite aunt decides that the widowed Mr. Penderwick must start dating again, an idea that does not sit well with the Penderwick sisters at all. Together they cook up the Save Daddy Plan to ward off the awful possibility of a stepmother, a plot that gets even more complicated as time goes on. Throw in a new neighbor family, the secrets of dark matter, those annoying Geiger boys, soccer grudge matches, a school play about a brave Aztec princess, and more, and the Penderwicks end up having another real adventure without even leaving their neighborhood. This is a lighthearted book sure to appeal to young girls (although readers should be cautioned that the book opens with a melancholy flashback to the Penderwick mother’s death in the hospital). The Penderwick sisters are such a varied lot that girls will certainly find someone to identify with, whether it’s the responsible Rosalind, the athletic and hot-tempered Skye, the bookish and creative Jane, or the irrepressible toddler Batty. Mr. Penderwick is a character rarely seen in modern times, a depiction of a father who is both wise and compassionate without being a parody. In Gardam Street, Mr. Penderwick not only teaches his daughters lessons about responsibility and honesty, he also learns that he has to abide by those same standards himself.
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Cicada Summer
by
Andrea Beaty
Book Dads
, November 21, 2009
Poor Lily has never been quite right since the accident. Unable to read or even speak, she’s become all but invisible to most of the townsfolk except for her father and Fern the kindly shopkeeper. But Lily is hiding a dark secret. She really can speak, and even read – she’s read all of the Nancy Drew books in the school library – but she must never, ever let anyone know it. If Lily were ever to speak again it would mean confronting a terrible truth, not only for her but for her father as well. Yet the fragile equilibrium of Lily’s world is broken one summer when Fern’s mysterious niece Tinny comes to town. Tinny brings trouble with her for both Lily and Fern, and Lily will need all of her detective skills to decipher Tinny’s plans. But can Lily find the courage to stop Tinny when it will mean revealing her own hidden secrets? Cicada Summer is a poignant story of one girl’s struggle to come to terms with a terrible loss, and of her relationship with her single father. As much as it’s a father’s role to protect his children, sometimes they try to protect us too. And sometimes decisions made out of love and the best intentions are still the wrong ones. At its heart, this book is about the love that father and daughter share, and about the harsh realities of life that often intrude on our families despite our best intentions. With just enough of a mystery to add interest to the family drama without overshadowing it, this book is a good read for both fathers and daughters.
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Course in Happiness Mastering the 3 Levels of Self Understanding That Lead to True & Lasting Contentment
by
Mardi Horowitz
Book Dads
, November 17, 2009
We teach our children reading, writing, and arithmetic, so why don’t we educate them on how to achieve happiness? Though written for adults, A Course in Happiness contains many lessons that can be helpful for adults, young adults, and children, as well as material addressed directly to parents. This is above all a practical book about the hard inner work and self-reflection that is necessary to find happiness, and there are no quick solutions or easy panaceas here. In the words of Dr. Horowitz, “Pulling together the sides of the self into an overall sense of organization is a slow, time-consuming process.” Horowitz advocates an approach based on realistic thinking, and one of the central principles discussed in the book is clearing the mind of both excessive pessimism and excessive optimism. He provides several tools for achieving this degree of clarity about ourselves and our circumstances, while also acknowledging that such clarity does not come easily and that we must be prepared to honestly examine and deal with both our thoughts and our emotions. One such simple but powerful tool is the Three-Scenario Approach, an especially useful tool for examining emotionally loaded situations by looking at the most dreaded, most ideal, and most realistic outcomes. Armed with such tools, one can pursue the three pathways that form the foundation of happiness: Integration (the capacity to put together different aspects of the self), Intimacy (the capacity to remain closely connected to relationships to others), and Integrity (the ability to know your values and their relative priorities, and to remain true to them). Many of the concepts in this book can be beneficial for adults in their own lives, but also in modeling for our children how we can constructively work towards happiness. In the section of the book devoted to Intimacy, Horowitz gives several examples of addressing this approach to the needs of romantic relationships. Imagine how much easier it would be for young people to negotiate their first experiences with such relationships if we taught them skills for assessing those relationships in a realistic fashion and modeled such behavior for them in our own treatment of our romantic relationships (instead of relentlessly selling them fantasies of unrealistic expectations). When discussing how to manage a hierarchy of values in the section on Integrity, Horowitz also discusses how parents can establish a similar hierarchy for helping adolescents navigate issues such as sex and drugs (e.g., telling a teen that if they are drunk they can call home for a ride without fear of repercussions). Finally, the concepts in this book can also be taught directly to children, especially children who have already suffered unfortunate circumstances or trauma and may be facing challenges in moving past them. A Course in Happiness does not offer easy answers for achieving a happier life, but it does offer a practical blueprint for the work needed to achieve that goal.
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The Sons of the Dragon King: A Chinese Legend
by
Young, Ed
Book Dads
, November 16, 2009
The Sons of the Dragon King is a retelling of an ancient Chinese folktale that also carries lessons about fatherhood and valuing each of our children for their own individual gifts. In ancient times, Chinese civilization consisted of many tribes, each with its own animal totem. When these tribes became unified, their totem animals merged together into a single ruling Dragon King that combined their features. When the Dragon King’s nine sons were born, each of them was as distinct from the others as their father’s different features, and each moved to a different region of the country to rule away from the watchful eye of their father. When the Dragon King learns that his first son Bei-She is spending all his time challenging the peasants to see if anyone is stronger than him, he disguises himself as a peasant and goes to see for himself. At first he is angered to learn that the rumors are true, but then considers that perhaps his son’s great strength can be put to good use. His son is pleased at the Dragon King’s idea, and to this day the image of Bei-She can be found at the base of large columns that support some of China’s greatest buildings. And so it goes through his second son, Chi Wen, whose watchfulness makes him an ideal sentinel for the tops of buildings, and onward through the rest of the Dragon King’s nine sons until all have found positions that best suit them. It’s often very hard to acknowledge our children’s own unique personalities. It’s especially hard to do so for those parts of our children’s personalities – like anger – that are disruptive or that make us personally uncomfortable. At first, the Dragon King is disturbed and baffled by the behavior of his sons, yet he wisely figures out how to put each of this children’s talents to good use, even though they are not behaving as he would like. Where others see the Dragon King’s sons wasting their time in distractions, the Dragon King sees that each of his sons has a special strength that can be honored. Further, by helping his children find a way to use their strengths, he also helps them find their own productive paths through life. The Dragon King is beautifully illustrated in a simple style that accents the story without distracting from it, and is a wonderful window into Chinese folklore and culture. But more importantly, it speaks to the fundamental truth that all children have their own strengths and their own path. And it challenges fathers to live up to the Dragon King’s example by learning to not only to see our children for who they truly are, but to value each of them for their unique strengths as well.
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Mom Jasons Breathing on Me The Solution to Sibling Bickering
by
Anthony E Wolf
Book Dads
, November 14, 2009
Despite its title, this is a book written by a father: Anthony Wolf is a child psychologist, a father of two, and the author of several books on parenting. In Jason’s Breathing on Me!, Wolf takes on the irritating, frustrating, and at times wholly exasperating issue of sibling bickering. After explaining the roots of this behavior (an issue explored further in Nurtureshock), Wolf gets right down to a plan for dealing with it. Since bickering stems from a child’s natural desire to have an exclusive claim on their parent’s attention. Wolf’s advice consists of ways for a parent to disengage themselves from the middle of the argument and let the children – for the most part – learn how to resolve things on their own. There are three rules for this process: Don’t Take Sides, Act Fast (or Not at All), and Don’t Listen. Of course, this is easier said than done, and the bulk of the book is devoted to discussing exactly how these rules should be carried out. For example, he recommends intervening as soon as you start to get irritated. This will keep your frustration level low – since even with this method you may sometimes still be intervening several times a day – and teach children to set a limit on their bickering that is at the lower end of your tolerance rather than at your upper end. He further advocates intervening only where there is threat of physical harm, noting that this applies to serious harm (one sibling braining another with a metal fire truck) rather than just minor pain (pinching). He also discusses issues such as fairness, separations, bullying, counterpunching, self-esteem, blended families, and the like. The final half of the book examines specific day-to-day scenarios and what to do for each. These include classics such as But It’s My Turn to Sit on the Driver’s Side and It’s Not Fair! Adam Got the Blue Watermelon, as well as cases from Parent Court such as Tyler Keeps Bothering Me. For each of these real-world situations, he discusses how the rules should be adapted: separating them isn’t practical inside a car (although it’s fun to imagine it), and for electronics such as the TV it may actually be best for the parent to be both rule setter and police officer. These scenarios are brought to life with humorous dialogues – some real and some imaginary – which Wolf uses to explain them more clearly. This humor also helps to illustrate one of Wolf’s key points: real families aren’t perfect, and accepting that things won’t always work out perfectly (as when handing out Arbitrary Parent justice) is a big part of getting sibling bickering under control. This is a book of real-world advice for real parents who have to deal with real children, and trying Wolf’s approach to sibling bickering just may save your sanity.
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Dim Sum, Bagels, and Grits: A Sourcebook for Multicultural Families
by
Alperson, Myra
Book Dads
, November 13, 2009
As more families adopt across racial, ethnic, national and cultural lines, the number of multicultural families has been steadily increasing. Being part of such an adoptive multicultural family carries its own unique joys, but also its own unique set of challenges. There are challenges within the multicultural family, such as reconciling the need to honor a child’s birth heritage with the culture of their new adoptive family. And there are challenges outside the family as well, such as dealing with misperceptions and racism. Dim Sum, Bagels and Grits provides a good starting point for families who are learning to address these challenges, as well as resources for moving forward through what can be an ongoing process throughout a child’s life and into adulthood. Myra Alperson is the Jewish-American mother of an adopted Chinese daughter, and she writes primarily from the perspective of the adoptive parent of an Asian child. However, her perspective is valuable not only to other parents of Asian children, but also universally applicable to the situations that all multicultural adoptive families face. She also devotes space throughout the book to specific scenarios involving other cultural groups, such as Eastern European children, African-American children, and others. In the first section of the book, “We Are Family”, Alperson discusses factors affecting each family’s individual journey towards becoming multicultural. In the following section, “Moving Forward”, she focuses on the aspects of building a multicultural home as well as finding support within the larger community. The book’s third section, “Meeting Challenges”, grapples with some of the most difficult issues for multicultural families, especially confronting both covert and overt prejudice (not only anti-ethnic but also anti-adoptive as well). She also examines at length the subtle and sometimes painful challenge of helping a child come to their own accommodation with their multicultural identity. Dim Sum is meant as a sourcebook for multicultural families, and the entire final third of the book is devoted to a listing of resources for adoptive families across the multicultural spectrum although since it was published in 2001 much of this information may now be out of date. This book is a good resource for prospective parents who are considering multicultural adoption, and will serve to raise awareness of many aspects of this issue that should be considered and discussed before parents move forward with the adoption process. Even established multicultural families will find helpful advice here from a parent who is part of their own community, as well as the reassurance that they are far from alone.
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American Journey Of Barack Obama
by
Life Magazine
Book Dads
, November 12, 2009
The early parts of American Journey provide a sweeping and at times overly dramatic biography of Barack Obama that begins with his roots and ends with his victory at the Democratic National Convention. Yet the most interesting part of the book is the penultimate section, Aspects of Obama. In this section, twelve writers offer their comments about Obama from a range of perspectives, from Regina Barreca’s “A Clintonista Comes Over”, to Andrei Codrescu’s “Immigrant Song”, to Fay Weldon’s “The View From London”. Each piece in this collection is brief and well-written, and they provide refreshingly honest and plain-spoken opinions of Obama from a diversity of viewpoints. But of course the star of any LIFE book is the photography, and this one certainly doesn’t disappoint. The photographs in this book tell as much of the story as the text, a fact which of course in some ways speaks to our modern age. Indeed, many of the pieces in the Aspects section are in some way about the experience of seeing Obama, whether in a newspaper photo, on television, or in person. And when looking through the book readers will be surely be struck by the many images of fatherhood. These include not only several pictures of Obama with his father and his grandfather, but many more of him with his two daughters. In these days of PR and “spin”, and after years of an administration that staged a number of deliberately deceptive photo-ops, it’s hard not to feel cynical about the authenticity of such photos. Yet in the pages of American Journey, Barack Obama genuinely looks like any other father about the daily business of fatherhood, with its challenges both great and small. That’s a fine quality in a President-elect, and one which bodes well for the coming administration.
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Uncle Jed's Barbershop
by
Margaree King Mitchell
Book Dads
, November 10, 2009
In Barbershop, Little Sarah Jean tells the story of her Uncle Jed and of his long quest to open his own barbershop. In the South during the time of segregation, Uncle Jed is the only black barber in the county. He travels from home to home to cut his customer’s hair, and is slowly saving to one day achieve his dream of owning his own barbershop, which most consider impossible. But there will be many obstacles in his way, including Sarah Jean’s sudden illness and the Great Depression. This is a book about the special relationship that a child can have with an uncle, and also about the ways in which our uncles and other male relatives can serve to inspire us with their example. It’s also a book about America’s history and our history of race relations, and a good starting point for introducing a child of any color to that history. The paintings capture well both the character of the times and of the people, and will help to bring the story and its setting alive for children of any age.
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My Daddy
by
Susan Paradis
Book Dads
, November 09, 2009
In My Daddy, a little boy tells us about how magnificent his daddy is, a man who can “cross the street alone” and “run outside without a coat”. The pictures are filled with surrealism and animal images, echoing the text and portraying the magical realism of a child’s world. This story is told in only a very few words but nonetheless is deeply evocative of the pride and wonder that a very young child can feel in his father’s seemingly godlike abilities. My Daddy both reminds us of the importance to children of feeling safe and secure with a father, and inspires us to be the best that we can be for them. This book will both move you and make you want to be the same kind of father for your own children.
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Day with My Dad #1: A Day with My Dad at the Beach
by
Manuela Pentangelo
Book Dads
, November 08, 2009
A little girl gets to spend time at the beach with her father in this delightful rhyming book about enjoying togetherness between fathers and children. After school her father picks her up on his bike and they ride to the beach to enjoy a long afternoon and evening of playing on the sand, swimming, and going to the boardwalk. Along the way they also talk of deeper matters like the importance of friends and family, and what the future may hold. The colorful pictures in this book fairly leap off the page, and perfectly capture the joy and excitement of dad and daughter’s fun day together. Both the words and images work together make the love and pride between father and daughter palpable, and this book shows that sometimes the most simple joys shared with our children are the most important and most enduring of all.
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Grandpas Town
by
Takaaki Nomura
Book Dads
, November 07, 2009
In this book, translated from the original Japanese edition, little Yuuta and his mother go to visit Grandpa in his town. He has been living there alone since Grandma died, and they are worried that he is lonely there and want him to come live with them. But Grandpa’s not very interested in the idea, and soon announces he’s off to the public bath and takes Yuuta with him. Along the way and at the bath, Yuuta meets many of Grandpa’s local friends and realizes that his Grandpa isn’t really alone after all. The illustrations in Grandpa’s Town are in a colorful style reminiscent of wood-block printing and depict daily life in a small Japanese town, a culture that will be largely unfamiliar to Western children. The idea of a public bath in particular is sure to strike children as novel. But the greatest strength of this book is in the relationship between Yuuta and his Grandpa, which is not overly expressive although Yuuta loves his Grandpa and his Grandpa is proud of him. Rather, in the way of many men’s relationships, more is conveyed by the time spent together rather than by the words that are spoken. “Quality time” is important but “Quantity time” is too, especially for boys and their male relatives, and Grandpa’s Town reminds us of this with great eloquence.
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Cool Daddy Rat
by
Kristyn Crow
Book Dads
, November 01, 2009
Cool Daddy Rat goes out every night to play jazz in New York City, leaving his son Ace behind with Mama Rat. But on this special night, Ace stows away in Daddy Rat’s bass case, and spends a night out in the city with his dad. This book rings with the rhythms of jazz, both in the scat that is interspersed with the text and in the wild energy of the drawings. Big city kids – New Yorkers or otherwise – will recognize the settings, and the book is a good conversation starter for talking about any dad’s work (even if he’s an accountant and not a cool jazz musician!)
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Secrets of a Christmas Box
by
Steven Hornby
Book Dads
, November 01, 2009
Was unpacking the box of holiday decorations a special part of your Christmas as a child? Is it a holiday ritual for your own family? Then you will enjoy Steven Hornby’s Secrets of a Christmas Box, about the secret lives of the ornaments that dwell on a very unique Christmas tree. After the tree has been decorated and the humans have gone to sleep, the Tree-Dwellers magically come to life and celebrate their Wakeup Carnival as they reawaken from their yearlong slumber while stored in the Christmas Box. When Larry the Snowman awakens this year, his first thought is to find his reindeer girlfriend Debbie and his brother Terrence. But Terrence is nowhere to be found; he has fallen prey to the one grim fact of life on the Tree. As all the Tree-Dwellers know, each year some ornaments simply never return to the Tree. In a desperate bid to find his brother, Larry and Debbie, accompanied by Larry’s faithful Tinsel and a newly-arrived toy soldier named Splinter, will set off on a perilous journey to find the Christmas Box and learn Terrence’s fate. But to do so, they will have to defy the elder Tree Lord and his Army Lights and break the one inviolable rule of the Tree-Dwellers: Never Leave the Tree. Christmas Box is a book about family, friendship, heroism, and standing up to dishonesty. It’s also a fun-filled adventure, and the “thought experiment” of imagining what life would be like for living Christmas ornaments is an engaging exercise for young minds. The holidays are an especially good time to read to children, as the excitement of the season can help them get deeply engaged with a story. The holidays also often give us additional time to spend with our families, and reading together is a marvelous way to invest that time in our children. In his Author’s note, Hornby writes that he wanted to recapture the magical feelings of Christmas time, and with Secrets of a Christmas Box he has succeeded admirably. Reading Secrets of a Christmas Box together with your family can be a wonderful way to build some magical holiday memories of your own. Readers should be cautioned that the ultimate fate of Terrence – who apparently has succumbed to the mysterious Shattered Sleeping Syndrome – is a bit gruesome (in an anthropomorphic kind of way), so this story may not be appropriate for very young children.
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My Daddy & Me
by
Jerry Spinelli
Book Dads
, September 29, 2009
In My Daddy and Me, Newbery medalist Jerry Spinelli has written a book in praise of both the fun things and the practical things about daddies. The two characters in this joyous book are a brown-and-white doggy daddy and his boy doggy. The book opens as the little doggy waits for his daddy to arrive home from work. When daddy arrives home with his briefcase and newspaper, the little doggy runs out to meet him and the fun begins. They play hide and seek, then magic show, and the little doggy gets to pretend to drive his daddy’s car. But they also bake cookies together, plant tomatoes, fix the house (little doggy’s job is to carry the toolbox and hand Daddy the hammer), and Daddy even gives little doggy a haircut. In short, even though Daddy likes to play with his son, he also does the practical jobs of keeping a household and raising a child. This sets My Daddy and Me apart from other children’s books that celebrate daddies for playing with their children but often leave out the other roles of being a parent. The roughly painted scenes gives the book a childlike and friendly feel, and My Daddy and Me ends on a note both sentimental and realistic: “Work makes daddy tired. Sometimes he’s too tired to play tag with me or to stand up straight. But never, ever is my daddy too tired to sing me a lullaby when it’s time for bed.”
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Nurtureshock
by
Po Bronson, Ashley Merryman
Book Dads
, September 20, 2009
What makes children act more aggressively – watching educational media like Arthur or violent media like Power Rangers? Is childhood obesity more correlated with playing video games or with getting less sleep? Does putting students in multiracial environments really make them less racially biased? Is it more effective to punish children for telling a lie or to reward them for telling the truth? These questions and others are addressed in NurtureShock, which presents the scientific research surrounding a number of issues about parenting our children and challenges us to look at them in a new way. Bronson & Merryman are veteran science reporters, and it shows. The science here is fully and accurately portrayed, and they demonstrate that just as much can be learned from “failed” experiments as from those that yield an expected result. They also don’t hesitate to discuss areas in which findings are inconclusive or still heavily debated. Above all, they give priority to the actual experimental findings and then look at possible explanations, rather than simply advancing their own pet theories about parenting and children. As a result, this is a book that is long on demonstrable fact and short on preaching. In addition to presenting the studies and their results in an easily comprehensible and accessible manner, Bronson & Merryman also put a human face on the scientists themselves. They present personal portrayals of many of the scientists involved in this research, and we journey with these researchers through their thought processes as they design experiments and then work to understand the results. Almost all of the findings presented in NurtureShock are counter-intuitive, and Bronson and Merryman address this problem directly. They discuss not only why some of these findings seem to fly in the face of what we think we understand about children, but also relate their own challenges in trying to put these concepts into practice. One of the recurrent themes in NurtureShock is that by doing what we think is best for our children, we are often achieving the exact opposite result. For example, in the chapter on Why White Parents Don’t Talk About Race, Bronson & Ashley look at the practices of not making racial distinctions when talking to young children, and of placing them into multiracially diverse environments. Both practices are intended to reduce interracial bias in children and promote interracial friendship, but paradoxically have no effect or even a negative effect. It turns out that the period of young children’s lives when we assume children are not aware of race and therefore are not talking with them about it is the exact developmental period when they are noticing race and forming their first ideas about it. Similarly, simply being in a multiracial environment is not enough for children to draw their own conclusions about racial equality; improved attitudes about race only emerge when children are engaged directly in explicit teachings about racial issues. NurtureShock surveys a wide and diverse range of topics in its ten chapters, from teaching babies how to talk, to the nature of teen rebellion. In examining issues like these, Bronson & Ashley uncover two common assumptions that hinder our understanding of child development. The first is that things work the same way for children as they do for adults, and the second is that good traits necessarily ward off and oppose negative behaviors in children. In examining these assumptions through numerous examples, NurtureShock will also challenge your own preconceived notions about parenting and children. This is a useful and eye-opening book, and one that illustrates how science and research can help us to better understand our children and our world. And if you change your approach to parenting based on even one of the ideas in this book, NurtureShock will help make you a better parent too.
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A Wrinkle in Time (Time Quintet #1)
by
Madeleine LEngle
Book Dads
, September 20, 2009
A Wrinkle in Time is a well-loved classic of children’s literature that has remained popular throughout several generations. It has the additional distinction of being a Banned Book. But it’s also a wonderful examination of a young girl’s changing relationship with her father, and of how both fathers and children need to change as children go through the process of growing up. Meg Murray is a young teen who somehow just doesn’t fit in or even know who she is inside. Her normal pains of awkward adolescence are made worse by the fact that her famous scientist father disappeared mysteriously several years earlier, leaving her scientist mother to raise Meg and her three brothers alone in their small town. Meg’s older brothers are as normal as apple pie, but her younger brother Charles Wallace is … different. Brilliant for his age, Charles Wallace also seems to sense and understand things that others can’t. That makes him even more of a misfit than Meg, and inspires a fierce protectiveness in her. Everything changes for the Murray family when three eccentric and otherworldly women appear – Mrs. Who, Mrs. Which, and Mrs. Whatsit – and whisk Meg, Charles Wallace, and their new friend Calvin off on a mission across the universe to rescue Meg’s father. Soon the children are embroiled in nothing less than the eternal cosmic war between Darkness and Light, and Meg will have to be more brave than she can possibly imagine. And when she finally finds her father, Meg will have to confront the fact that her father is, in fact, only a man – and Daddy can’t make everything better this time. It will take Meg and her father working together, and confronting both of their deepest fears, before the Murray family can be reunited again. There’s a little of Meg in all of us, when even as adults we sometimes feel awkward or unsure of who we are. Meg struggles to hold onto her love for her father as she also learns to see him for the human being that he is, and learns how to stand on her own two feet. And there’s a little of Mr. Murray in all of us who are fathers as well, as we learn that we are not gods to our children but only mortal men, and that sometimes we have to learn to let them go. Madeline L’Engle wrote with deep compassion and understanding for both fathers and children, and indeed for all humanity. She never forgot what it was to be a child, with a child’s wonder and the sense that there is an entire magical world just beyond the edge of our perceptions if we could just pull back the veil. A Wrinkle in Time’s reputation is a timeless classic with lessons for both fathers and children, and will remain so for countless years to come.
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The Very Best Daddy of All
by
Marion Dane Bauer
Book Dads
, September 20, 2009
The Very Best Daddy of All is a children’s book about thirteen different animal daddies, and one human daddy. Each two-page spread shows a different animal daddy and single child, along with a description of what each daddy does for his children. Fish daddies build houses, wolf daddies comfort crying pups, and fox daddies take care of mamas so they can care for kits. Admirably, all of the animals in this book are factual examples of good animal fathers and include lesser-known instances such as playful prairie dog fathers and fearless frog fathers. The soft illustrations have a sleepytime fell to them, and make this a good bedtime book. The Very Best Daddy ends with a human daddy and his son, since no one but a child’s own daddy is the very best of all.
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Everything To Spend The Night
by
Ann Whitford Paul
Book Dads
, September 20, 2009
The little girl in this story is thrilled to be spending the night with her Grandpa, and she’s brought along her overnight bag with everything that they will need for their visit together. And as it happens, she’s brought them all in alphabetical order, from apples to the key to her treasure chest to the zipper on her pajamas. It’s quite a busy evening for her playful and patient grandpa and his black-and-white cat as they try to keep up with her. The busy illustrations perfectly portray a hyper-kinetic youngster as she rushes from activity to activity while her increasingly worn grandpa steers her towards bedtime. By the end of the day, even the cat is exhausted! But when it’s finally time to go to bed, she discovers that there is one thing she’s forgotten after all, but fortunately grandpa is there to come to her rescue. This is a charming book that will strike an instantly familiar chord with anyone who’s ever taken care of an energetic young child, and a painless way to practice the alphabet with children as well.
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Boys Are Back
by
Simon Carr
Book Dads
, September 08, 2009
Are fathers the same as mothers? This is the central question that underlies Simon Carr’s heartfelt and searingly honest memoir, The Boys Are Back (also made into a motion picture). Carr’s answer to this question is a resounding “No!” as he recounts his adventures as a single widowed father of his five-year-old son Alexander. Most of the story takes place after Simon’s second wife has died from cancer, and he is left on his own to raise their son. Their family then becomes bigger when his eleven-year-old son Hugo from his previous marriage comes to live with them as well. The challenges of being a single father become further complicated by Simon’s bereavement, Alexander’s grief over his lost mother, and Hugo’s struggles with finding a place in his divorced family. Throughout, Simon drifts back and forth in time to recount his experiences as a father to his sons both in and out of his marriages. Much of The Boys Are Back concerns Carr’s take on how to parent as a father rather than as a mother, and it’s an issue that he takes head on. His wife was the primary caregiver prior to her death, and after she is gone Simon has to learn how to connect with his son. He discovers that he has to do so as Alexander’s father instead of as a substitute mother, and that he has to allow his son to be a little boy. In the absence of his wife’s influence – and staunchly resisting the well-meaning advice of “mommy culture” that descends on him from other mothers, grandmothers, and the like – Simon develops his own approach to raising a boy. This means lots of physical activity and physical contact. It means setting a few unbreakable ground rules and letting everything else go. It means saying yes whenever possible instead of automatically saying no. It means a house where a boy can dress himself by pulling clothes right off the clothesline, ride his bike inside if he is careful and there’s no good reason not to, and play raucous games of King of the Bed with his father. To some extent Carr puts too much emphasis on the differences between men and women, ignoring greater differences in personality (such as between his first and second wives) and the experiences of same-gender couples. Yet he certainly points out many real differences in attitudes and approaches to parenting between mothers and fathers that most people are too polite to talk openly about. And although his ideas about fathering may sound radical or even crazy, they are ultimately affirming of not only fathers and men, but of boys as well. Carr could have easily written a propagandizing, ten-step tome explicating his philosophy. Instead, by sharing his own experiences with warmth and honesty, he makes reading this book feel as comfortable and genuine as chatting and sharing advice with another parent at a playdate or Little League game.
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Nine Lessons A Novel of Love Fatherhood & Second Chances
by
Kevin Alan Milne
Book Dads
, September 07, 2009
August Witte doesn't want to be a father; after all, his own father wasn't a very good one. When his wife delivers the news that she is unexpectedly pregnant, August storms off and drives to his father London's house in the middle of the night to confront him about their shared past. London Witte's life is all about golf, but August was never a very good golfer despite London's frustrating attempts to teach him as a boy. When London finally cuts August from the golf team in his freshman year of high school, it drives a wedge between the men that never heals. When August also accuses London of refusing to share his memories of August's deceased mother, London proposes a deal. He has a chest containing dozens of golf scorecards on which he kept a journal of his experiences during his marriage. He will give the cards to August in installments, and in return August will agree to play nine games of golf with his father. London believes that golf is life and life is golf, and that golf can teach August to be a better father. Over the course of the next nine months, August learns a series of lessons from his father that are accessible even to non-golfers. When his wife is touchy and temperamental due to morning sickness, he learns that you play golf faithfully even in the rain. When she humiliates him at their baby shower, he learns to give her a “mulligan”, i.e., to forgive her. And when he begins to consider how to teach his children how to behave properly, he learns about golf etiquette. Through reading about London's experiences first as a young father and later as a widowed father, August comes to see himself reflected in his father after all. Through the lessons of golf and his new, admittedly often rocky relationship with his father, August begins to address the fears and insecurities about fatherhood that are common to all new fathers. Milne has made an interesting choice with this book. He could easily have used his ideas about life and golf to write a short and pithy – and probably forgettable - nonfiction book with a title like “Everything I Needed To Know About Being a Father I Learned from Golf.” Instead, he has deftly woven these insights into an engaging novel where even the minor characters, like Fertile the Turtle and The Teenage Drama Queen, become an integral part of the story. It's also a story that illustrates how easily fathers and sons can come to misunderstand each other, and holds out hope that a rapprochement is possible in even the most hopeless cases if only we can bring ourselves to tell each other the truth.
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