Synopses & Reviews
All aspects of the zombie lifestyle are surveyed in this satirical take on an orientation manual for the newly undead. From how one became a zombie in the first place and the stages of zombification to survival mechanisms, this handbook offers specific advice on everything a fresh zombie needs to know about "life" expectancy, hunting techniques, hitching a ride, hand-to-mouth combat, and feeding etiquette. Instructions for extracting the living from boarded up farmhouses and broken down vehicles are included along with dozens of helpful diagrams outlining attack strategies such as the Ghoul Reach, the Flanking Zak, the Bite Hold, and the Aerial Fall for securing human prey and their all-important flesh and brains.
Being undead can be disorienting. Your arms and other appendages tend to rot and fall off. Its difficult to communicate with a vocabulary limited to moans and gurgles. And that smell! (Yes, its you.) But most of all, you must constantly find and ingest human brains. Braaaains!!!
Whats a zombie to do?
Thankfully, zombiologist John Austin details everything you need to know, as a newly undead soul, to hunt, fight, and feed on the living. As the first handbook written specifically for the undead, So Now Youre a Zombie explains how you ended up in this predicament, the stages of zombification, and what you need to survive in this zombiphobic world. Dozens of helpful diagrams outline attack strategies, such as the Ghoul Reach, the Flanking Zack, the Bite Hold, and the Aerial Fall, to secure your human prey. Youll even learn how to successfully extract the living from boarded up farmhouses and broken down vehicles.
This handbook also explores the upside of being a zombie. Gone are the burdens of employment, taxes, social networks, even basic hygiene, allowing you to focus on simple necessities in life”: the juicy gray matter found in the skulls of the living.
Review
"An excellent choice for the zombie completist." Kirkus Reviews
Review
This book is a total blast and a must-have for zombie fans! Grade A.” Mania.com
Review
The illustrations are as grossly explicit as the text is employee-handbook underplayed, making this an excellent choice for the zombie completist.” Publishers Weekly
Review
"Everything a new flesh eater needs to know about surviving in a world where you only want one thing: brains." --Geek-span.com
Review
"Brilliantly tongue-in-cheek. . . . A must for all fans of spoof manuals and zombies alike." NY Journal of Books.com
Review
"Explains everything a newly undead soul needs to hunt, fight and feed on the living." Aolnews.com
Review
"A parody with brains. . . [the book] is just too funny to pass up." NeoTokyoProject.com
Review
"Austin's tongue-in-cheek humor perfectly compliments the subject matter." ZombiePhiles.com
Synopsis
Being undead can be disorienting. Your arms and other appendages tend to rot and fall off. Its difficult to communicate with a vocabulary limited to moans and gurgles. And that smell! (Yes, its you.) But most of all, you must constantly find and ingest human brains. Braaaains!!!
Whats a zombie to do?
Thankfully, zombiologist John Austin details everything you need to know, as a newly undead soul, to hunt, fight, and feed on the living. As the first handbook written specifically for the undead, So Now Youre a Zombie explains how you ended up in this predicament, the stages of zombification, and what you need to survive in this zombiphobic world. Dozens of helpful diagrams outline attack strategies, such as the Ghoul Reach, the Flanking Zack, the Bite Hold, and the Aerial Fall, to secure your human prey. Youll even learn how to successfully extract the living from boarded up farmhouses and broken down vehicles.
This handbook also explores the upside of being a zombie. Gone are the burdens of employment, taxes, social networks, even basic hygiene, allowing you to focus on simple necessities in life”: the juicy gray matter found in the skulls of the living.
Synopsis
Being undead can be disorienting. Your arms and other appendages tend to rot and fall off. It's difficult to communicate with a vocabulary limited to moans and gurgles. And that smell (Yes, it's
you.) But most of all, you must constantly find and ingest human brains. Braaaains
What's a zombie to do?
Thankfully, zombiologist John Austin details everything you need to know, as a newly undead soul, to hunt, fight, and feed on the living. As the first handbook written specifically for the undead,
So Now You're a Zombie explains how you ended up in this predicament, the stages of zombification, and what you need to survive in this zombiphobic world. Dozens of helpful diagrams outline attack strategies, such as the Ghoul Reach, the Flanking Zack, the Bite Hold, and the Aerial Fall, to secure your human prey. You'll even learn how to successfully extract the living from boarded up farmhouses and broken down vehicles.
This handbook also explores the upside of being a zombie. Gone are the burdens of employment, taxes, social networks, even basic hygiene, allowing you to focus on simple necessities in "life" the juicy gray matter found in the skulls of the living.
About the Author
John Austin is the author of MiniWeapons of Mass Destruction, Cubical Warfare, and Prank University. For more information, visithttp://www.johnaustinbooks.com/zombie.html