History of a Suicide My Sisters Unfinished Life

“It is so nice to be happy. It always gives me a good feeling to see other people happy…It is so easy to achieve.” —Kim’s journal entry, May 3, 1988

On the night of April 15, 1990, Jill Bialosky’s twenty-one-year-old sister Kim came home from a bar in downtown Cleveland. She argued with her boyfriend on the phone. Then she took her mother’s car keys, went into the garage, closed the garage door. She climbed into the car, turned on the ignition, and fell asleep. Her body was found the next morning by the neighborhood boy her mother hired to cut the grass.

Those are the simple facts, but the act of suicide is anything but simple. For twenty years, Bialosky has lived with the grief, guilt, questions, and confusion unleashed by Kim’s suicide. Now, in a remarkable work of literary nonfiction, she re-creates with unsparing honesty her sister’s inner life, the events and emotions that led her to take her life on this particular night. In doing so, she opens a window on the nature of suicide itself, our own reactions and responses to it—especially the impact a suicide has on those who remain behind.

Combining Kim’s diaries with family history and memoir, drawing on the works of doctors and psychologists as well as writers from Melville and Dickinson to Sylvia Plath and Wallace Stevens, Bialosky gives us a stunning exploration of human fragility and strength. She juxtaposes the story of Kim’s death with the challenges of becoming a mother and her own exuberant experience of raising a son. This is a book that explores all aspects of our familial relationships—between mothers and sons, fathers and daughters—but particularly the tender and enduring bonds between sisters.

History of a Suicide brings a crucial and all too rarely discussed subject out of the shadows, and in doing so gives readers the courage to face their own losses, no matter what those may be. This searing and compassionate work reminds us of the preciousness of life and of the ways in which those we love are inextricably bound to us.

“Valiant and eloquent…Bialosky’s thoughtful book elucidates the complexity of suicide.” ­­­­

—Washington Post Book World

“A searing elegy…this memoir reads like butter and cuts like a knife.”

—People (4 star review)

"A tender, absorbing, and deeply moving memoir...[Bialosky] writes so gracefully and bravely that what you're left with in the end is an overwhelming sense of love."

—Entertainment Weekly

“Extraordinarily useful...a source of solace and understanding…. [Bialosky’s] hand is always skillful, as attentive to the rhythms of storytelling as to conveying emotion.”

—Time

“A profound and lyrical investigation…Bialosky writes sensitively and beautifully.” ­­­­

—New York Magazine

“Brave and beautifully crafted.”

—The Daily Beast

"An extraordinarily valiant and resonant testimony to the healing powers of truth and empathy.”

—Booklist

“A beautifully composed, deeply reflective work.”

—Publishers Weekly

“In quietly piercing language, [Bialosky] delivers a sure sense of a 'beautiful girl' who took her own life at age 21 and of what it means to grieve such a death, burdened with an awful sense of responsibility that can’t easily be shared with others.”

—Library Journal

“This is the kind of book that can teach us—all of us—about what it means to be a thinking, feeling human being. A book, in other words, that will teach you how to live.”

—Darin Strauss, author of Half a Life

From acclaimed poet and novelist Jill Bialosky, the New York Times bestselling exploration of her sister s suicide and the lifelong impact it had on those left behind a beautifully composed, deeply reflective work (Publishers Weekly).
It is so nice to be happy. It always gives me a good feeling to see other people happy It is so easy to achieve. Kim s journal entry, May 3, 1988
On the night of April 15, 1990, Jill Bialosky s twenty-one-year-old sister Kim came home from a bar in downtown Cleveland. She argued with her boyfriend on the phone. Then she took her mother s car keys, went into the garage, closed the garage door. She climbed into the car, turned on the ignition, and fell asleep. Her body was found the next morning by the neighborhood boy her mother hired to cut the grass.
Those are the simple facts, but the act of suicide is anything but simple. For twenty years, Bialosky has lived with the grief, guilt, questions, and confusion unleashed by Kim s suicide. Now, in a remarkable work of literary nonfiction, she re-creates with unsparing honesty her sister s inner life, the events and emotions that led her to take her life on this particular night. In doing so, she opens a window on the nature of suicide itself, our own reactions and responses to it especially the impact a suicide has on those who remain behind.
Combining Kim s diaries with family history and memoir, drawing on the works of doctors and psychologists as well as writers from Melville and Dickinson to Sylvia Plath and Wallace Stevens, Bialosky gives us a stunning exploration of human fragility and strength. She juxtaposes the story of Kim s death with the challenges of becoming a mother and her own exuberant experience of raising a son. This is a book that explores all aspects of our familial relationships between mothers and sons, fathers and daughters but particularly the tender and enduring bonds between sisters.
History of a Suicide brings a crucial and all too rarely discussed subject out of the shadows, and in doing so gives readers the courage to face their own losses, no matter what those may be. This searing and compassionate work reminds us of the preciousness of life and of the ways in which those we love are inextricably bound to us."

In this New York Times bestseller, Jill Bialosky, poet and author, undergoes "a profound and lyrical investigation" (New York magazine) as she attempts to understand the events and emotional state that led her sister to commit suicide and the impact of her death on family and loved ones.

On April 15, 1990, Kim, Jill Bialosky's younger sister, arrived home from a bar after a fight with her boyfriend. She took her mother's keys, went into the closed garage, and turned on the ignition. Her body was discovered the next morning by a neighborhood boy.

For decades, Bialosky has grappled with the guilt, questions, and devastation that was unloosed by Kim's suicide. Now, in this remarkable memoir, she attempts to reconstruct the complex inner life of her sister and in doing so, unlocks the nature of suicide itself and how we are each deeply affected by it.

In the course of trying to understand what drove her sister that night, Bialosky examines some of the most fundamental questions of human nature--why some of us more emotionally stable than others, even when raised in the same circumstances; how the unconscious shape our identities; what the difference is between depression and suicidal feelings; and why we sometimes fail to love and protect one another.

Combining Kim's own personal writings with family history, medical reportage, literary criticism, and research, Bialosky has crafted "an extraordinarily valiant and resonant testimony to the healing powers of truth and empathy" (Booklist).

Jill Bialosky is Executive Editor at W.W. Norton.  She has published three collections of poetry, including Intruder (Knopf 10/08) and two novels, most recently The Life Room (Harcourt 2007, Mariner 2008).  She lives in New York City with her husband and son.