Synopses & Reviews
In the opening of Holding Silvan, Monica Wesolowska gives birth to her first child, a healthy-seeming boy who is taken from her arms for observation” when he wont stop crying. Within days, Monica and her husband have been given the grimmest of prognoses for Silvan. They must make a choice about his life. The story that follows is not of typical maternal heroism. There is no medical miracle here. Instead, we find the strangest of hopes. In clear and unflinching prose, this startling memoir bears witness not only to a sons brief life but to the evolution of the writer herself from Catholic girl yearning after sainthood to maternal struggle to give her son the best she can. The result is a page-turning testimony to the power of love. By raising ethical questions about how a death can be good in the age of modern medicine, Holding Silvan becomes a paean to what makes life itself good. Whether you have faced great loss or not, this book will change your life.
Review
"This book clearly deals with a dark, difficult, and important subject. I cant imagine anyone better equipped to do full justice to such a profound human experience." Michael Cunningham, author of By Nightfall and The Hours
"We have never needed this book more." Erica Jong, author of Fear of Flying
"I was swept away by this book. Heartfelt, heartbreaking and brave, it takes us on a fascinating ethical journey in prose that shines with Wesolowskas love for her son. I feel fortunate for the experience, as if I have held Silvan myself. Ill never forget it." Julia Scheeres, author of Jesus Land and A Thousand Lives
"A tender, poignant and courageous narrative insightful and beautifully written." Abraham Verghese, author of Cutting for Stone
"When I picked up this book for the first time, my heart sank. I wondered if I could even bear to read such a sad story. And yet, within moments, I couldnt put it down. I read long into the night, unable to leave the story until I reached its at once achingly tragic and profoundly life-affirming end. That the story of the death of a child is, in fact, life-affirming is a tribute to Monica Wesolowskas graceful prose, her unflinching eye, and most of all her indomitable spirit. This book taught me more about a mothers love than anything I have ever read before or since." Ayelet Waldman, author of Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace
"When someone writes about grief they also write about courage, since they survived to tell the story. The beauty and emotional integrity of Holding Silvan strikes me to the core. This book is brilliant." Lidia Yuknavitch, author of The Chronology of Water
About the Author
Monica Wesolowska has published both fiction and memoir in numerous literary journals and anthologies including Best New American Voices 2000, The Carolina Quarterly, Quarter After Eight, Literary Mama, and the New York Times Bestseller My Little Red Book. A graduate of Reed College and a recipient of a fellowship from the Fine Arts Works Center in Provincetown, she has taught writing at UC Berkeley Extension for a decade. She lives with her family in Berkeley, California.
Table of Contents
Introduction by Erica Jong . xi
Birth . 17
Love Story . 29
Making This Easier . 35
I Hope Mommy Dies . 41
Chasm . 47
Panforte . 55
A Choice . 61
Confirmation . 67
Distillation . 73
We Climb . 77
From A to Z . 85
Battles . 93
Chance of Regret . 99
Holding Silvan . 105
Breaking Plates . 109
Seed Pearls . 117
The Future . 123
Good-bye, Little Man . 127
First Night . 135
Circuit Tester . 141
Miracle Baby . 145
Joy . 149
Full Circles . 161
Fledglings . 169
Mutation . 177
Crows . 183
Sunshine . 193