Knocking Myself Up: A Memoir of My (In)Fertility

From PEN/America Award winner, 2021 Guggenheim fellow, and beloved literary and tarot icon Michelle Tea, the hilarious, powerfully written, taboo-breaking story of her journey to pregnancy and motherhood as a 40 year-old, queer, uninsured woman.

Written in intimate, gleefully TMI prose, Knocking Myself Up is the irreverent account of Tea's route to parenthood — with a group of ride-or-die friends, a generous drag queen, and a whole lot of can-do pluck. Along the way she falls in love with a wholesome genderqueer a decade her junior, attempts biohacking herself a baby with black market fertility meds (and magicking herself an offspring with witch-enchanted honey), learns her eggs are busted, and enters the Fertility Industrial Complex in order to carry her younger lover's baby.

With the signature sharp wit and wild heart that have made her a favorite to so many readers, Tea guides us through the maze of medical procedures, frustrations and astonishments on the path to getting pregnant, wryly critiquing some of the systems that facilitate that choice ("a great, punk, daredevil thing to do"). In Knocking Myself Up, Tea has crafted a deeply entertaining and profound memoir, a testament to the power of love and family-making, however complex our lives may be, to transform and enrich us.

"In this blazing new memoir, [Michelle Tea] approaches the subject of parenthood (and all the poking, prodding, jaw-dropping expense, and nosy questions that it can entail for LGBTQ+ parents) with her signature verve." Vogue

“A refreshingly entertaining, lighthearted memoir about a serious topic.” Kirkus Reviews

“This heartfelt work embraces every facet of the human experience: heartache, hope, and — with a little luck — joy.” Publishers Weekly

"Tea takes readers on a whirlwind ride of a complicated conception and pregnancy. [Her] experience is a uniquely queer and feminist one that is rarely at the forefront of these discussions." Library Journal

“'Motherhood is psychedelic,' Michelle Tea writes in Knocking Myself Up, a book that gifts us a blow-by-blow of Tea's journey in ecstatic, riotous, mind-altering colors. Watch out, though — the gossipy immediacy and hilarity of Tea's voice may leave you unprepared for the ‘love as big as planets’ that grows along the way, and eventually packs a real wallop. I'm so grateful for this necessary book, which makes me feel emboldened, buoyant, and less alone.” Maggie Nelson, award-winning author of The Argonauts

“Michelle Tea has pulled off the impossible — a frank, funny, compelling memoir about birth and parenthood that pulls no punches but still manages to make the whole affair sound like a grand adventure. She brings her trademark compassionate curiosity to the vast universe that is creation.” Kaitlyn Greenidge, author of Libertie and We Love You, Charlie Freeman

“Crack this marvel open in which Michelle Tea details ‘having’ a baby in a way that's part science experiment, part space voyage and maybe largest part prayer. She delivers her tale with enormous vulnerability, fierce honesty, and an unflagging commitment to the gnarly, frothy, performative condition(s) of giving birth and in the end she drops us all into an ecstatic basinet of total love. My God! Michelle is the best. Man can she live and write.” Eileen Myles, poet and author of Chelsea Girls

"Michelle Tea's Knocking Myself Up takes the most quintessential human process — procreation — and completely reinvents what's possible. Her trademark honesty and punk rock spirit are on full display here in her most indelible and unexpected book yet. People of all walks of life will find something to take away with them as we — as society — all grapple with what parenthood can and should really be." Isaac Fitzgerald, author of Dirtbag, Massachusetts

“Every book by Michelle Tea is a revelation. This book is a big fat reminder that the mess of life and the mess of making life are one and the same, with joy and goop and frustration and loss and blood and sudden! giddy! triumph!" Daniel Handler, author of All The Dirty Parts

Michelle Tea is the author of over a dozen books, including the cult-classic Valencia, the essay collection Against Memoir, and the speculative memoir Black Wave. She is the recipient of awards from the Guggenheim, Lambda Literary, and Rona Jaffe Foundations, PEN/America, and other institutions. Knocking Myself Up is her latest memoir.

Tea's cultural interventions include brainstorming the international phenomenon Drag Queen Story Hour, co-creating the Sister Spit queer literary performance tours, and occupying the role of Founding Director at RADAR Productions, a Bay Area literary organization, for over a decade. She also helmed the imprints Sister Spit Books at City Lights Publishers, and Amethyst Editions at The Feminist Press. She produces and hosts the Your Magic podcast, wherein which she reads tarot cards for Roxane Gay, Alexander Chee, Phoebe Bridgers and other artists, as well as the live tarot show Ask the Tarot on Spotify Greenroom.