Synopses & Reviews
The greatest hits from the world's largest—and most hilarious—hockey humour blogHundreds of thousands of hockey fans around the world are addicted to Down Goes Brown, and with good reason: Sean McIndoe is the funniest writer in hockey. His often insightful, always entertaining posts have made the site one of the top hockey blogs in the world—and definitely the most amusing. From shrewd observations to tongue-in-cheek commentary, Down Goes Brown manages to capture the essence of hockey while exposing the frequently funny side of the sport. Now, in The Best of Down Goes Brown, McIndoe himself compiles some of the blog's best-loved posts, along with a host of all-new content, in one side-splitting volume.
Packed with fan favourites, including The Code: Hockey's Unwritten Rules Revealed, The official map of an NHL rink, A complete transcript of every NHL game ever broadcast, What an official NHL trade call really sounds like, An NHLer’s guide to never saying anything interesting, The other former NHL stars who interviewed for Colin Campbell’s job, and more, many of which have become so ubiquitous that readers who have never even heard of Down Goes Brown know them by heart, the book is the ultimate gift book for hockey fans everywhere.
- Brings together dozens of the funniest articles from the premier hockey humour blog
- Includes the hugely popular viral hit, "The NHL's Top Secret Flowchart For Handing Out Suspensions,” and many other legendary posts
- Features exclusive, never before seen content not available online
Sure to hit hockey fans right on the funny bone, The Best of Down Goes Brown is the ultimate anthology of the very funniest writing from the world's largest hockey humour blog.
Synopsis
Praise for
Down Goes Brown"With his pointed playfulness, eye for the absurd, and smart, silly layers of punchlines and punditry, Down Goes Brown is like a puck-loving version of The Daily Show."
Katie Baker, Grantland
"Down Goes Brown is King Lear's fool; you think he's there for comedy, but he's really the smartest guy in the play."
Jeff Marek, Sportsnet
"Down Goes Brown makes me proud as a hockey fan and angry as a comedy writer, because he's so damn clever. Masters mockery like Datsyuk dangles."
Greg Wyshynski, Puck Daddy
"Canadians may be the greatest hockey fans on earth, but we generally lack much??levity when it comes to the national passion. So thank goodness for Sean McIndoe and Down Goes Brown."
Dave Naylor, TSN
Down Goes Brown is a blog dedicated to making fun of the NHL. This book is dedicated to collecting the best from the blog, like "A Transcript of Every Hockey Game Ever Broadcast" and "The NHL's Top Secret Flowchart For Handing Out Suspensions", and adding a bunch of new stuff that you won't find anywhere else, like "The NHL's Hall of Fame Application Form" and a "Brief History of Wayne Gretzky". Our research shows that the more copies you buy, the funnier it gets, so do yourself a favor and pick up several.
About the Author
Sean McIndoe is the funniest writer in hockey. A pioneering blogger in the world of hockey humor, he grew Down Goes Brown from nothing in 2008 to the world's biggest and best hockey humor blog. Today, Down Goes Brown is one of the most popular hockey blogs in the world. Sean is also published twice weekly by the National Post, both in print and online. He posts regularly on Grantland (one of North America's most-read sports websites), and he is regularly quoted by, or a guest on, sports radio, television, and your favorite blog or podcast.
Table of Contents
Foreword by Bob McKenzie xi
Foreword by James Duthie xv
Acknowledgments xvii
1. A Complete Transcript of Every NHL Game Ever Broadcast 1
2. The Ten Greatest Coaches in NHL History 7
3. The Other Former NHL Stars Who Interviewed for Colin Campbell’s Job 13
4. Know Your Sports: The NHL vs. the NFL 18
5. A Look Back at Game Seven of the 2011 Stanley Cup Final (which, due to a scheduling error, had to be published twelve hours early) 21
6. Take the Quiz: Do You Have a Concussion? 24
7. The Code: Hockey’s Unwritten Rules Revealed 28
8. A Moment with the Guy Who Has to Go Out and Fix the Glass When It Breaks 33
9. What an Official NHL Trade Call Really Sounds Like 37
10. The Signs of the Hockey Zodiac 40
11. The Not-So-Original Six: A Look Back at the NHL’s First Expansion Teams 44
12. The NHL’s Top-Secret Flow Chart for Handing Out Suspensions 49
13. A Brief History of Mats Sundin 52
14. Signs Your City May Not Be a Viable Hockey Market 55
15. Behind the Scenes at the Rehearsal for the Presentation of the Stanley Cup 58
16. You Wanna Go? A History of Hockey Brawls 61
17. From the Archives: The 1993 Leafs/Kings Game Six Live Blog 64
18. An In-depth Comparison: Mario Lemieux vs. Patrick Roy 72
19. The NHL’s Plan for Appealing to Video Game Fans 76
20. A Period-by-Period Recap of the 2011 Stanley Cup Final 79
21. Know Your Sports: The NHL vs. Soccer 83
22. Behind the Scenes at an NHL/NHLPA Collective Bargaining Session 87
23. Other Complaints about Brendan Shanahan 94
24. Leafs vs. Habs: Hockey’s Greatest Rivalry 97
25. The Details of Don Cherry’s Contract 101
26. An In-depth Comparison: Daniel Alfredsson vs. Zdeno Chara 104
27. Take the Quiz: How Will Your Team Do this Year? 108
28. Behind the Scenes at NHL Referee Tryouts 112
29. Come On Down: A History of NHL Game Show Appearances 116
30. The Offi cial Map of an NHL Rink 119
31. A Brief History of Wayne Gretzky 121
32. How to Spend Your Day with the Stanley Cup 125
33. Determining Whether a Goal Should Count: The NHL War Room’s Top-Secret Flow Chart 128
34. Know Your Sports: The NHL vs. MLB 131
35. The Pros and Cons of Fighting In the NHL 135
36. An NHLer’s Guide to Never Saying Anything Interesting 138
37. Democracy Doesn’t Work: A History of All-Star Voting 142
38. Take the Quiz: Should You Rebuild? 145
39. A Tale of Two Homecomings 149
40. The NHL’s Hall of Fame Application Form 153
41. Rating the NHL’s Relocation Candidates 158
42. What an Offi cial NHL Suspension Call Really Sounds Like 162
43. Other Mario Lemieux Grievances 166
44. Understanding the New Wave of Advanced Statistics 169
45. A Brief History of Teemu Selanne 172
46. Other Ways NHL Teams Use Home Ice Advantage for an Unfair Edge 175
47. Seventh Heaven: When One Game Decides the Stanley Cup 178
48. How to Dominate Your Fantasy Hockey League 184
49. A Period-by-Period Recap of the 2012 Stanley Cup Final 187
50. NHL Hockey, Then vs. Now 192
51. An In-depth Comparison: Eric Lindros vs. Peter Forsberg 197
52. Take the Quiz: Was that a Dive? 201
53. No Ties Allowed: A History of the Shoot-out 205
54. So You Want to Be the Commissioner: The NHL’s 1993 Job Application Form 208
55. The NHL’s Top-secret Flow Chart for Dealing with Scandals 213
56. Nobody Remembers Number Two: A History of First Overall Draft Picks 215
57. How to Become an Ironman 219
58. Behind the Scenes at NHL Fan Training Camp 222
59. Signs You May Be Injury Prone 225
60. Inside the NHL’s Legal Brief on the 2011 NFL Work Stoppage 228
61. An In-depth Comparison: Sidney Crosby vs. Alexander Ovechkin 231
62. Make His Head Bleed: A History of the NHL in Pop Culture 235
63. When a Day with the Stanley Cup Goes Wrong 239
64. Breaking Down the Battles: Inside Canada’s Provincial Rivalries 242
65. Welcome to the Doghouse: A History of Coach vs. Player Feuds 247
66. Know Your Sports: The NHL vs. UFC 251
67. A Hockey Fan’s Guide to Modern TV Technology 255
68. Behind the Scenes at the Matt Cooke Suspension Hearing 259
69. A Complete Transcript of Every Post-game Call-in Show Ever Broadcast 264
70. Dear Son, Welcome to Life as a Toronto Maple Leafs Fan 268