Synopses & Reviews
Now more than ever, Americans are troubled by questions. As sweaty modernity thrusts itself upon us, the veil of ignorance that cloaked our nation hangs in tatters, tattered tatters. Our "funny bones" are neither fun nor bony. Glum is the new giddy, and the old giddy wasn't too giddy to begin with.
What can be done to stop this relentless march of drabbery? Nothing. But perhaps this book can be used to dull the pain. Included herein:
- The Ten Worst Films of All Time, as Reviewed by Ezra Pound over Italian Radio
- Unused Audio Commentary by Howard Zinn and Noam Chomsky, Recorded Summer 2002, for The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring DVD (Platinum Series Extended Edition), Part One.
- How Important Moments in My Life Would Have Been Different If I Was Shot in the Stomach
- My Beard, Reviewed
- Circumstances under Which I Would Have Sex with Some of My Fellow Jurors
- Words That Would Make Nice Names for Babies, If It Weren't for Their Unsuitable Meanings
- As a Porn Movie Titler, I May Lack Promise
- Ineffective Ways to Subdue a Jaguar
- Eleven Lunch Meats I Have Invented
- Four Things I Would Have Said to Sylvia Plath if I Had Been Her Boyfriend
And much, much more, including 20 brilliant new lists . . .
Review
"The selections in Eggers's new collection take many forms: stories, letters, interviews, jokes, plays, and a large number of lists....The best of the lot are quite good; the rest are worth a look." Library Journal
Review
"[G]ive[s] a nice break from more serious reading and may even entice reluctant readers." School Library Journal
Review
"Achieves the sensation of being hit by a hip, humorous train....Breaks mold after mold in hilarious fashion." The New York Times
Review
"In this collection, the wit and wisdom is 98 percent male, laconic and wry....Skim through some of the sophomoric sex jokes and the self-indulgent obscurity, and you'll find some gems worthy of a second-read chuckle." Providence Journal
Review
"This book is lacking one essential element: humor....The majority of pieces lead to groans rather than grins.... Created in darkness, it should have stayed there." Rocky Mountain News
Review
"Some of the stories seem to be intentionally unfunny exercises in "deconstructing" the structure of jokes and humor...But some of them can be wickedly cute..." Seattle Times
Review
"The authors of the pieces assume you are also university-educated, well read and that you know the nuances of an imagined conversation between Howard Zinn and Noam Chomsky....Gems are few and far between."Chicago Sun-Times
Synopsis
A hilarious collection from McSweeney's that "achieves the sensation of being hit by a hip, humorous train.... Breaks mold after mold in hilarious fashion" (The New York Times).
Now more than ever, Americans are troubled by questions. As sweaty modernity thrusts itself upon us, the veil of ignorance that cloaked our nation hangs in tatters, tattered tatters. Our "funny bones" are neither fun nor bony. Glum is the new giddy, and the old giddy wasn't too giddy to begin with.
What can be done to stop this relentless march of drabbery? Nothing. But perhaps this book can be used to dull the pain. Included herein:
The Ten Worst Films of All Time, as Reviewed by Ezra Pound over Italian Radio
Unused Audio Commentary by Howard Zinn and Noam Chomsky, Recorded Summer 2002, for The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring DVD (Platinum Series Extended Edition), Part One.
How Important Moments in My Life Would Have Been Different If I Was Shot in the Stomach
My Beard, Reviewed
Circumstances under Which I Would Have Sex with Some of My Fellow Jurors
About the Author
McSweeney's is a small group that sells taxidermy equipment and also produces books, a literary quarterly, and The Believer, a monthly review. Based in San Francisco, McSweeney's is also home to 826 Valencia, a nonprofit educational center for Bay Area youth.
Table of Contents
A Brief Parody of a Talk Show That Falls Apart about Halfway through
The Spirit of Christmas
The Briefing: A Play in One Act
On the Implausibility of the Death Star’s Trash Compactor
Preview of Summer Camps
Comments Written on Evaluations of My Speech on Needle-Exchange Programs
The Newest from Jokeland
Excerpts from My Speech on Forest-Fire Prevention
As a Porn Movie Titler, I May Lack Promise
I Know What You Did Two Moons Ago (The Revenge)
Words That Would Make Nice Names for Babies, If It Weren’t for Their Unsuitable Meanings
Reviews of My Daydreams
Insomniacs! I Bring Words of Hope and Wisdom
The Ten Worst Films of All Time, as Reviewed by Ezra Pound over Italian Radio
Group Mobilization as a Desperate Cry for Help
Fire: The Next Sharp Stick?
Not Very Scary Movies
Candle Party
It’s Not Actually a Small World
Unused Audio Commentary by Howard Zinn and Noam Chomsky, Recorded Summer 2002, for The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring DVD (Platinum Series Extended Edition), Part One
Canceled Regional Morning TV Shows
A Letter from Ezra Pound to Billy Wilder, 1963
Journal of a New COBRA Recruit
A Logic Puzzle and Hangover Cure
Some People Don’t Like Celebrities
Tips from Jokes and How to Tell Them, Published in 1963
How Important Moments in My Life Would Have Been Different If I Was Shot in the Stomach
No Justice, No Foul
Actual Academic Journals Which Could Be Broadway Shows If They Had Exclamation Points Added!
My Beard, Reviewed
The Name Game
Circumstances under Which I Would Have Sex with Some of My Fellow Jurors
The Bet
The Dance Lesson
Attack of the Fabulons!
Pirate Riddles for Sophisticates
A Short Fictional Passage Entitled “Drift Nets,” in Which Several Enterprising Characters Troll the High Seas, Exploring Abandoned Trade Vessels for “Pirated” Goods, and Learn to Cope with Distinct Personalities in a Close-Knit, High-Stress Environment
Ineffective Lines Deleted from Final Revisions of Violent Box-Office Hits
A Graceland for Adolf
Trinity
Pop Quiz
Bad Names for Professional Wrestlers
Evidently, It Was Live Then
Upcoming Titles from Gavin Menzies, Author of 1421: The Year the Chinese Discovered America
Good Westerns, Not Porn
Norse Legends Reference Pages
Goofus, Gallant, Rashomon
Not-Good Titles for Romantic Films
Black, Gray, Green, Red, Blue: A Letter from a Famous Painter on the Moon
Lists
Alternate Titles Proposed for This Book
Contributors