Synopses & Reviews
In this groundbreaking book, Dr. Kenneth Doka explores a new, compassionate way to grieve, explaining that grief is not an illness to get over but an individual and ongoing journey.
There is no “one-size-fits-all” way to cope with loss. The vital bonds that we form with those we love in life continue long after death—in very different ways. Grief Is a Journey is the first book to overturn the prevailing, often judgmental, ideas about grief, and replace them with a hopeful, inclusive, personalized, and research-backed approach. New science and studies behind Dr. Dokas teaching upend the dominant but incorrect view that grief proceeds by stages.
Throughout Grief Is a Journey, Dr. Doka tells encouraging stories of his clients and other individuals, all working through unique losses. In doing so, he helps us realize that our experiences following a death are far more individual and much less predictable than the conventional “five stages” model would have us believe. Common patterns of experiencing and expressing grief still prevail, yet many other life changes accompany a primary loss. For example, the deaths of parents, even for adults, modify family patterns, change relationships, and alter old family rituals.
Unique to this book, Dr. Doka also explains how to cope with disenfranchised grief—the types of loss that are not so readily recognized or supported by society. These include the death of ex-spouses, as well as non-fatal losses such as divorce, the end of a friendship, job loss, or infertility. In addition, Dr. Doka considers losses that might be stigmatized, including death by suicide or from disease or self-destructive behaviors such as smoking or alcoholism.
Since no two people experience grief in the exact same way, Grief Is a Journey offers a variety of self-help strategies for coping with grief. It delineates the many ways we can create personal and private therapeutic rituals throughout our grief journey. This book also offers counsel on when—and where—to seek professional assistance. And finally, Dr. Doka reminds us that, however painful, grief provides opportunities for growth.
Review
"Grief Is a Journey is more than a collection of wise guidance and advice. Rather, this is a volume of rare sensitivity, penetrating understanding, and profound insights written by a foremost interpreter of grief and loss. It is a must read book for the bereaved and those who counsel them." Rabbi Earl A. Grollman, author of Living When A Loved One Dies
Review
"This guide through the long valley of grief is written by one of the foremost therapists and researchers in the field of bereavement studies. Yet it is a straightforward instruction manual that covers most of the problems that cause bereaved people to seek for help from outside their network of friends and family. Doka writes with great clarity and good sense, giving advice when that is appropriate, but always respecting the uniqueness of his reader's experience and encouraging them on their journey through grief." Therese A. Rando, Ph.D., BCETS, BCBT, Author, Coping With the Sudden Death of Your Loved One: A Self-Help Handbook for Traumatic Bereavement
About the Author
Dr. Kenneth J. Doka is a licensed mental health counselor and preeminent expert in grief. He is Professor of Gerontology at the Graduate School of the College of New Rochelle as well as Senior Consultant to the Hospice Foundation of America and an ordained Lutheran minister. Dr. Doka speaks around the world on dying, death, and bereavement, and his work has been featured in national publications and media outlets such as Time, The Wall Street Journal, CNN, and Nightline.