Synopses & Reviews
They happen every day--those frustrating, circular "I'm right, you're wrong!" arguments. What's at risk may be as life-changing as whether or not your kid drops out of college, your aging parent goes into a nursing home, or your boss gives you the promotion you want. Or it may be as commonplace as getting the insurance company to approve your claim. These situations often frustrate both parties, stall progress, and hurt relationships. But they don't have to. In
I'm Right, You're Wrong, Now What? Dr. Xavier Amador, a Columbia University professor and clinical psychologist shows you how to break nearly any impasse and persuade your opponent--for that's what people become when you've reached an impasse--to give you what you need. I'm Right, You're Wrong, Now What is based on Dr. Amador's LISTEN-EMPATHIZE-AGREE-PARTNER (LEAP) method. A highly successful program that has been taught to tens of thousands of people in seminars around the U.S. and overseas, LEAP teaches you how to turn even toxic arguments into healthy disagreements that end with you getting what you need. Built on timeless psychological truths and new research, LEAP is a roadmap for improving the quality and health of any relationship. LEAP will actually show you how to convince the other person to help you, while increasing mutual respect and trust. Perhaps most importantly, it will help you make that all-important distinction between what you want and what you need. Dr. Amador's LEAP program includes techniques on how to:
- diffuse anger and lower defenses
- get past stubbornness and even denial
- make your opponent ask for your opinion . . . instead of railing against it
- turn adversaries into allies
- create positive and productive relationships
At home, at work and in life, LEAP demonstrates how winning is not about hearing the other person say "You're right," it's about getting him to give you what you need--even when he doesn't agree with you.
Review
"This will be an invaluable tool for anyone who wants to get past 'I'm right and you're wrong!'"--Gerry Spence, trial lawyer and author of the New York Times best seller How to Argue and Win Every Time
Review
"With this book, you can learn to win those arguments and find the best way to move forward without burning bridges."--Jeffrey J. Fox, author of HOW TO BECOME A RAINMAKER and HOW TO BECOME CEO
Review
"The book is a practical guide to working around and through problems that is useful on many different levels."--Robert P. Finn, Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs, Princeton University, and past U.S. Ambassador to Afghanistan
Review
"It's hard to imagine anyone who couldn't benefit from this practical and empowering guide to making your relationships better."--Robert L. Leahy, Ph.D., author of The Worry Cure: Seven Steps to Stop Worry from Stopping You, and President, International Association for Cognitive Psychotherapy
Synopsis
Part negotiation, part psychology, part common sense, I???m Right, You???re Wrong, Now What? moves readers beyond the sort of impasses we often find ourselves faced with. People get stuck in ???I???m right, you???re wrong ??? arguments everyday, Dr. Amador says. These impasses can be toxic, stall progress, and hurt relationships, or they can be healthy and bring people together to get things done. You just need to know what to do. That??'s where his LEAP technique comes in:
L isten reflectively
E mpathize with the other person??'s point of view
A gree on those goals you share
P artner on achieving those goals
LEAP is a powerful and pragmatic tool that can help us all navigate conflicts and arguments in order to improve our dealings and our lives. Most importantly, it??'s about creating a relationship where two people want to give???not give in.
Synopsis
Part negotiation, part psychology, part common sense,
I'm Right, You're Wrong, Now What? moves readers beyond the sort of impasses we often find ourselves faced with. People get stuck in I'm right, you're wrong arguments everyday, Dr. Amador says. These impasses can be toxic, stall progress, and hurt relationships, or they can be healthy and bring people together to get things done. You just need to know what to do.
That's where his LEAP technique comes in:
- Listen reflectively.
- Empathize with the other person's point of view.
- Agree on those goals you share.
- Partner on achieving those goals.
LEAP is a powerful and pragmatic tool that can help us all navigate conflicts and arguments in order to improve our dealings and our lives. Most importantly, it's about creating a relationship where two people want to give not give in.
Synopsis
This book can help you solve two kinds of couples' problems: the kind your partner will help you with and the kind your partner won't.
I'm Right. You're Wrong. Now What? shows how one person — all by him or herself — can begin to calmly address and resolve a dispute whether the other person will cooperate or not.
Experienced counselors JacLynn Morris and Dr. Paul L. Fair reveal their tested conflict-resolution strategy — an approach that can help you enlist the cooperation of your partner — to resolve the issues that many couples face: interfering in-laws, financial pressures, religious differences, selfish behaviors, lack of intimacy, jealousy, addictions, inconsistent parenting styles, even gut-wrenchers such as infidelity or illness.
Even if your partner is unwilling to budge, using the approach laid out in this book will:
- Allow you to get crystal clear about what you want
- Prepare you to make a specific, clear and blame-free request of your partner
- Give you a solid back-up plan to use in the event that your partner is unwilling to grant your request
About the Author
Dr. Xavier Amador is an adjunct professor in clinical psychology at Teacher's College, Columbia University in New York City and is on the Board of Directors of the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI). A clinical psychologist who treats adults, children, and adolescents in individual, couples and family therapy, he has also been called upon to serve as a forensic expert on such high profile cases as the Unabomber, the Capitol Shooter, Elizabeth Smart, and the Twentieth Hijacker, among others. He is called upon frequently by the media, and has published over 100 peer-reviewed scientific papers. He lives in New York.