Synopses & Reviews
Joining Forces: Empowering Male Survivors to Thrive is an inspirational new book written to empower male survivors of sexual victimization to develop skills they can use to overcome the effects of trauma and learn to thrive in their lives. Male survivors often struggle to feel any sense of hope for the future, so this book is designed to inspire survivors and their allies with easily learned skills developed over the course of the author’s 30-year career, and the real-life experiences of male survivors who have learned to thrive. Each chapter invites survivors to dare to dream that they can take another step in their healing process through leaving their isolation behind, challenging their dysfunctional beliefs and replacing them with healthier functional messages, practicing healing exercises, reading about the struggles and successes of men just like themselves, and learning how to build hope through the use of affirmations.
This book is unique in that it is based on the experiences of over 750 male survivors who have participated in MaleSurvivor Weekends of Recovery. The tools taught during those weekends, plus many more developed through the clinical experiences of the author, are presented so that each survivor reading the book has an opportunity to use the skills as he faces the challenges of his recovery. Survivors and their allies learn they are not alone in their struggles. Including the writings of male survivors and their partners will help to end their isolation and help them know others have walked in their path, become stronger, and found a sense of freedom. They will read about how these men and their allies have learned to make healthier choices that have enhanced their relationships, their emotional functioning, their job performance, and their lives.
Review
“As a co-founder of MaleSurvivor and the co-chair of our Weekends of Recovery program, Dr. Fradkin has helped thousands of survivors of sexual abuse put their lives back together. His skill, compassion, and generosity are evident from the very first words of this book. I am both a survivor of sexual abuse and alumnus of the MaleSurvivor Weekends of Recovery, and I can bear witness to the transformative impact of the wisdom contained within this book. Every year, millions of survivors and their loved ones find help for healing through our website and the practices Dr. Fradkin helped put into place. I highly recommend this book to every survivor of sexual abuse and those people who love, care for, or wish to help support them.”
— Christopher M. Anderson, Executive Director, MaleSurvivor (www.MaleSurvivor.org)
Review
“Thoughtful . . . thorough . . . a must-read for men who may have had an unwanted or abusive sexual experience in childhood or adulthood and for the people who love those men. Howard Fradkin’s book will be ‘top shelf’ in our lending library.” — Steve LePore, Founder and Executive Director, 1in6 (www.1in6.org)
Review
“For many years Dr. Howard Fradkin has inspired male survivors of sexual abuse to affirm themselves and move beyond the prisons of their childhood trauma. The Weekends of Recovery program he instituted through MaleSurvivor: The National Organization Against Male Sexual Victimization has brought together men from a wide range of backgrounds and experiences and taught them to help one another heal. Now he has written a book that will bring his wisdom to a much larger audience. Men who read it will find their inner strengths through exercises, storytelling, and a range of empowering affirmations. It will inspire survivors to heal and move on in their lives. His book is a gift to all traumatized men.”— Richard B. Gartner, Ph.D., Training and Supervising Analyst, Faculty, and Founding Director of Sexual Abuse Service and William Alanson White Institute for Psychiatry, Psychoanalysis, and Psychology, New York City; author of Beyond Betrayal: Taking Charge of Your Life after Boyhood Sexual Abuse and Betrayed as Boys: Psychodynamic Treatment of Sexually Abused Men (www.richardgartner.com)
Review
“Howard Fradkin is a leader in recovery for male survivors, personally and professionally. From his extensive experience, he has created a recovery workbook that is a positive contribution to the growing body of literature on male sexual victimization and recovery. In an encouraging and affirming tone, Joining Forces offers specific exercises and suggestions of healing activities. Like his workshop leadership, this book will be of great benefit to many men in recovery and those who love them.”— Mike Lew, author of Victims No Longer: The Classic Guide for Men Recovering from Sexual Child Abuse
Synopsis
Joining Forces: Empowering Male Survivors to Thrive is an inspirational new book written to empower male survivors of sexual victimization to develop skills they can use to overcome the effects of trauma and learn to thrive in their lives. Male survivors often struggle to feel any sense of hope for the future, so this book is designed to inspire survivors and their allies with easily learned skills developed over the course of the author's 30-year career, and the real-life experiences of male survivors who have learned to thrive. Each chapter invites survivors to dare to dream that they can take another step in their healing process through leaving their isolation behind, challenging their dysfunctional beliefs and replacing them with healthier functional messages, practicing healing exercises, reading about the struggles and successes of men just like themselves, and learning how to build hope through the use of affirmations.
This book is unique in that it is based on the experiences of over 750 male survivors who have participated in MaleSurvivor Weekends of Recovery. The tools taught during those weekends, plus many more developed through the clinical experiences of the author, are presented so that each survivor reading the book has an opportunity to use the skills as he faces the challenges of his recovery. Survivors and their allies learn they are not alone in their struggles. Including the writings of male survivors and their partners will help to end their isolation and help them know others have walked in their path, become stronger, and found a sense of freedom. They will read about how these men and their allies have learned to make healthier choices that have enhanced their relationships, their emotional functioning, their job performance, and their lives.
About the Author
Howard Fradkin received his Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology in 1980 from the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill, and has been licensed as a psychologist in Ohio since 1982. Dr. Fradkin co-founded Affirmations: A Center for Psychotherapy and Growth in 1984, a private multidisciplinary practice in Columbus, Ohio. Dr. Fradkin has counseled more than 1,000 male survivors as individuals, as couples, and in group psychotherapy and weekend workshops over the course of his 30-year career. He was one of the co-founders of the National Organization On Male Sexual Victimization (now known as MaleSurvivor), and has served as an Advisory Board member for MaleSurvivor since 2001.
In 2001, Dr. Fradkin became the Chairperson of the MaleSurvivor Weekends of Recovery program. In this role, he had the primary responsibility for developing and implementing the weekend experience, supervising staff, and having primary responsibility for overseeing the emotional experiences of all of the male survivors (and sometimes their partners) who participated in the weekend. In 2010, due to the success and growth of the program, it became necessary to share responsibilities for the program, and since that time, he has served as Co-Chairperson.
Dr. Fradkin has directed 39 Weekends of Recovery since 2001. His expertise was recognized by Oprah Winfrey when she invited him to be her professional guest for two shows, “200 Men” in 2010, focusing on healing for male survivors of sexual abuse. As a male survivor himself, he has learned firsthand about the struggles inherent in achieving recovery, and is able to offer significant hope and encouragement to empower men to thrive in many aspects of their lives.
Table of Contents
Contents
Foreword by Tyler Perry
Preface
Introduction
PART I: BEGINNING YOUR HEALING PROCESS
Chapter 1: Dare to Dream You Can Join Forces with a Community of Silence Breakers
Chapter 2: Dare to Dream You Can Create Inner Safety and Be Present
Chapter 3: Dare to Dream You Can Co-create Trust and a Sense of Safety in Communicating with Others
Chapter 4: Dare to Dream You Can Leave Your Isolation Behind
Chapter 5: Dare to Dream You Can Tell Your Story and Find the Support You’ve Always Deserved
Chapter 6: Dare to Dream You Can Learn from the Experiences of Other Male Survivors
PART II: MOVING FORWARD ON THE PATH TO THRIVING
Chapter 7: Dare to Dream You Can Be Disloyal to Dysfunction
Chapter 8: Dare to Dream You Can Embrace Loyalty to Functionality
Chapter 9: Dare to Dream You Can Connect with the Boy Inside You
Chapter 10: Dare to Dream You Can Sculpt Your New Path
Chapter 11: Dare to Dream You Can Connect Safely, Intimately, and Romantically
Chapter 12: Dare to Dream You Can Forgive Yourself and Others
Chapter 13: Dare to Dream You Can Receive the Support and Love You Need in This Recovery Process as a Partner or Family Member
Chapter 14: Dare to Dream You Can Become Empowered by Publicly Disclosing Your Abuse
Chapter 15: Dare to Dream You Can Thrive!
Afterword
Endnotes
Resources
Index
Acknowledgments
About the Author