Synopses & Reviews
When Charmaine and her husband adopted Toby, a five-year-old Chesapeake Bay retriever, they figured he might need some adjusting time, but they certainly didn't count on what he'd do in the meantime. Soon after he entered their lives and home, Toby proved to be a holy terror who routinely opened and emptied the hall closet, turned on water taps, pulled and ate things from the bookshelves, sat for hours on end in the sink, and spent his days rampaging through the house. Oddest of all was his penchant for locking himself in the bathroom, and then pushing the lid of the toilet off the tank, smashing it to pieces. After a particularly disastrous encounter with the knife-block in the kitchen--and when the couple discovered Toby's bloody paw prints on the phone--they decided Toby needed professional help. Little did they know what they would discover about this dog. On Toby's Terms is an endearing story of a beguiling creature who teaches his owners that, despite their trying to teach him how to be the dog they want, he is the one to lay out the terms of being the dog he needs to be. This insight would change their lives forever.
Review
A darlng, heartwarming story. --Steve Hudis, Producer, Impact Motion Picture
Review
Toby has been one of my all time favorite interviews, right next to Bob Barker and Gordie Howe! '"Mindy Tweedle, Producer / Host, CTS TVReview
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A touching portrait of a remarkable dog. If you're looking for a feel-good story, this is it. --Jamie Hall, the Edmonton Journal
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Simply a beautiful book about life, love and purpose. --Jack Canfield, Chicken Soup for the Soul
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In a perfect world, every dog would have a home and every home would have a dog--like Toby! --Nina Siemaszko, actress, The West Wing
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From snout to tail, this was a wonderful and humbling read! Your ability to flip Toby's errant behavior into self awareness and reflection is a great lesson and an enviable trait. And I was thankful to learn that perfectionism is not a hopeless condition!--Nancy Banner
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Toby has been one of my all-time favorite interviews; he is right next to Bob Barker and Gordie Howe! His capacity to spread cheer is truly inspirational!--Mindy Tweedle, producer/host, CTS TV
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A meaningful and moving story in which we can all find truth.--Justin Hines, award-winning singer/songwriter
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A heartwarming, funny, and self-reflective journey about living with passion and purpose.--Janet Attwood, The Passion Test: The Effortless Path to Discovering Your Life Purpose
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As with people, and as this book shows, providing your dog with a purpose will give you a happy and satisfied pet.--Karin Overgaard, Certified Pet Dog Trainer
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They say when the student is ready, the teacher appears. This is an amazing story that will wake up the student in you. --Aubrey Winfield, president, Orange Media Group of Companies
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5 Stars Not your everyday dog book. I loved the surprises, the life lessons and the humility that this beautiful book offered. If you have a dog, know a dog or love a dog, you will love this book, too! --Stephanie Staples, author, Your Life Unlimited
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Enjoy the relationship learning adventure of both pet and human in this delightful book.--Kaytie Stack, K9 Awareness
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Dogs are affected by the energy from our emotions and thoughts. This insight was both luck, and labor, for Toby. --Robin McKay
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Living with an open mind and heart is but one of the insightful lessons taught by this incredible animal in this lovely book. --Lisa Litwinski, LIT PATH Learning Centre Ltd.
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Authentically moving!--Shawne Duperon, Producer, six-time Emmy award winner
Charmaine HammondSynopsis
MEDIA Q & A's
Q: On Toby's Terms is a heartwarming book about your incredible journey with your dog Toby, who went from incorrigible to incredible; how did this journey start?
Response: After we adopted Toby, a 5-year-old Chesapeake Bay retriever, from a rescue agency a few short months after we adopted him his true colors came through. While he is loving, loyal, and very lovable, he proved to be a holy terror who routinely opened and emptied closets, turned on water taps, pulled things from the bookshelves, sat for hours on end in the sinks, and spent his days rampaging through the house. Oddest of all was his penchant for locking himself in the bathroom, and then pushing the lid of the toilet off the tank, smashing it to pieces. After a disastrous encounter with the knife block in the kitchen--and when we discovered Toby's bloody paw prints on the phone--we decided Toby needed professional help. Little did we know what we'd discover about this dog--or ourselves.
Q: Obviously, you had an immediate connection with Toby, But how did you manage to work through the destructive behavior and not immediately return him to the rescue agency?
Response: That is the most popular question I get besides his fetish with bathrooms. Destruction and quirks aside, I marvel at how Toby connects with people, makes them laugh, and intuitively knows what people need. Plus, I fell in love with him right away- it is painful to part with that even if it is a dog. I have never been one to give up, so before we gave up, Chris and I committed to doing what we could to help Toby reach his full potential.
Q How did you discover the 'inner Toby' and his amazing almost psychic ability to touch everyone he meets?
Response: The day I watched him walk through the hospital on his first day volunteering, is the same three years later. He walks through the door as if to say "I have arrived world!" He is as excited today as he was 3 years ago- what a valuable lesson around how we approach our work...and life. I am the lucky soul who gets to hold the end of his red leash while he delivers soulful love to those in hospitals whose days are numbered. Intuitively he knows these people are suffering, and he just moves into their hearts and brings them comfort...even joy. It is unbelievable to watch. Sometimes, I can't.
Q: What are the most important lessons that Toby taught you?
Response: Toby taught me about patience, asking for help, finding the gifts in the challenge, about being present and more mindful,not to judge and most of all humility. He models living with passion and purpose, and connecting from the heart. He challenges me to be a person of action instead of inaction and to realize that no one is perfect ...so why should I be?
Q: After reading in the book about your harrowing sailboat story, I want to know...Do you and Chirs still sail?
Response: That was the most terrifying experience of my life. The many lessons in surrendering, character building, never giving up, love and hope were life changing. In my keynote presentations I talk about life being full of moments that stretch you, define you and make you grow- and that day on the water provided lessons in all three. The story had a happy ending, sixteen years later I am married to my hero and love of my life, but I am sure it was the most original proposal I could have ever imagined. And of course, Toby came along and taught me something about me on that day years ago in the water, and it was discomforting... but a good lesson.
Q: After you rescued Toby. What impact did he have on your relationship with Chris?
Response: As you may have gathered from the book, it was stressful, and often felt like we were working against each other -Toby in some way forced us to communicate differently, to get on the same page, and to both grow together. All relationships takes work- maybe this was the challenge for us to take our already strong relationship to new levels. My most precious moments are when I see Toby and Chris thoroughly enjoying one another, which is now all the time! It always reverts back to the question of who rescued who?
Q: Who is the hero of this story?
Response Toby four PAWS up. He acts like a hero and has hero super powers including the ability to make people fall instantly in love!
Q: What is the most amusing thing Toby has done lately?
Response: One day when we were packing our truck after a weekend at the cottage my niece burst into laughter telling me to quick...go look at Toby. Turning my head I saw Toby sitting in the back seat strapped into his seat belt. Finding this amusing I also laughed, but was hysterical when she announced that he mimicked her putting her seat belt on. He sat that way for about 15 minutes before getting himself out of the seat belt and laying down on my niece. (He still thinks he is a lap dog sometimes and definitely human.)
Q: What inspired you to write this book?
Response: the question should be 'who' inspired you? Actually it was Toby, then Chris . Everyone always enjoyed hearing the latest shenanigans of Toby, but I think it was Toby that inspired me to write, I loved writing as a teenager and as I aged it became a chore...until Toby.
Q: So what's the scoop...what is is life really like with Toby/
Response: interesting...fun...challenging at times... and fresh! Time is like a one way street, we can't go back, but we can make our future worth living. Toby reminds us that you just cannot live in the past or ignore the present with Toby. He is the master of present, and what a gift he is!
About the Author
Charmaine Hammond, a former Correctional Officer and Chartered Mediator, speaks to audience around the world on importance and power of building resilience. She is a contributing author to Chicken Soup: What I Learned from the Dog featuring her dog, Toby. Charmaine and Toby are conducting 'dog-author' book signings throughout the US and Canada. Media-magnet Toby has won numerous awards including the CHIMO's prestigious Reese Award, named in honor of a Great Pyrenees dog who died from bone cancer after an stellar volunteer career. In addition to hundreds of media appearances, serving as guest of honor at grand openings, and his being the sponsor of the Sherwood Park Phoenix Girls Elite Soccer Team, Toby will star as himself in an upcoming documentary about his fascinating life. A media sensation, Toby has his own blog and website--which receives 500 hits per day.
Reading Group Guide
Book Club Discussion Questions
1. What were the most poignant lessons that Toby taught his owners, Charmaine and Christopher? What is the most profound lesson you learned from your own pet?
2. Clearly this dog is a handful--and on occasion, the couple come close to surrendering him to the local shelter. But they stick it out and then fall in love with him. How did this couple grow, both individually and in their marriage, as a result of their life with Toby? In what way did this couple enhance Toby's emotional and physical health? How would you have dealt with a dog like Toby?
3. Charmaine discusses her tendency toward being a perfectionist and all-or-nothing thinking--a trait that is also shared to some degree by her husband, Chris. How did this trait affect their relationship and marriage? How did it impact their relationship with Toby? Do you think that you are a perfectionist? Why or why not?
4. The author and her husband survive a life-threatening experience. How did this incident impact them, and in what ways did it change their lives? In what way did bringing Toby into their lives allow them relive the lessons learned that day? Do you think you would have responded the same way or differently?
5. The couple are told by a behaviorist that Toby 'lacks purpose' and clarity on his role in the family. In what ways did helping Toby discover his purpose modify his behavior? How would you define your 'purpose' and in what way do you deem it necessary to living with passion?
6. 'Letting go' is a theme throughout the story. What is the relevance of 'letting go' and in what way does doing so change the author's life? Have you ever had to 'let go' of something? How did that affect you?
7. In what way is Toby an inspiration? In this story, who inspired you the most and for what reason? Who or what inspires you?
8. Charmaine alludes to the axiom, 'When the student is ready, the teacher appears.' Who was the teacher--the author or Toby? Of the lessons each learned, what was the most significant? Are you a teacher, student, or both? Explain.
9. When Toby tips over the keepsake box, what hidden treasures surprise Charmaine? How do these discoveries impact Chris and Charmaine's future with Toby? Do you have a box of 'hidden treasures'? What memories do they evoke?
10. What kept Christopher from all but giving up on Toby? How did this decision affect the couple's marriage and their plans for their future? Facing the same sort of situation, would you have given up or stuck with it? Why?
11. Charmaine comes off as an optimist, seeing the good in situations. How does this mindset both help and hinder her? Do you consider yourself optimistic or pessimistic? How does this view affect your life? Do you think you should change?
12. As Charmaine and Chris became the 'pack leaders' in Toby's life, his behavior improved. Had they accepted this sooner, would the outcome have been different? What qualities do pack leaders emulate? When have you been a pack leader in your life? How did being a pack leader change a situation for you?