Synopses & Reviews
For decades, a well-to-do Baltimore family guarded a secret they felt too ashamed to reveal, much less speak of among themselves. For one daughter, that secret would haunt her for years but ultimately compel her to take surprising risks and reap unbelievable rewards--the story of which forms the stunning narrative of this remarkable memoir.
When Molly Bruce Jacobs, the family's eldest daughter, finds herself newly sober at the age of thirty-eight, she finally seeks out and comes face-to-face with this secret: Anne, a younger sister who was diagnosed at birth with hydrocephalus ("water on the brain") and mental retardation, was institutionalized. Anne has never been home to visit, and Molly Jacobs has never seen her. Full of trepidation, she goes to meet her sister for the first time. As the book unfolds and the sisters grow close, Jacobs learns of the decades of life not shared and gains surprising insights about herself, including why she drank for most of her adult life. In addition, she gradually comes to understand that her parents' reasons for placing Anne in a state institution were far more complex than she'd ever imagined.
Review
"An important story, heartbreakingly vivid, and beautifully told."
-Jane Bernstein, author of Bereft: A Sister's Story "Painful secrets are brought to light in this rueful, honest account."
-Publishers Weekly
"Secret Girl is an unwaveringly courageous, wisely seen, and gorgeously written book about family secrets, indelible loss, and the healing power of reconciliation that stands equal to groundbreaking memoirs like Kathryn Harrison's The Kiss, and Lucy Grealey's Autobiography of a Face."
-Julie Checkoway, author of the forthcoming book Waiting for Hockney and director of the forthcoming documentary Waiting for Hockney
"Molly Bruce Jacobs takes you on a rollercoaster ride through the range of emotions a family experiences when the parents choose to institutionalize their daughter."
-Steve Morgan, executive director of the Arc of Baltimore
"Secret Girl is a compelling evocation of the dynamics of one family around an invisible sister tucked away into an institution, and the long journey of the author to claim her sister, and claim herself. This is a memorable book...The author's accurate eye and deep desire for truth make this book a necessary one to enter, a great visit to the birth of love between sisters, and to its persistence."
-Anya Achtenberg, Zoetrope Award-winning author and poet
Praise for Molly Bruce Jacobs's award-winning short story collection Small Burials:
"The author writes effortless prose. She is confident of the worlds...being created, and that confidence and a clarity of vision pull the reader in and make all the stories believable and poignant...This is wonderful work."
-Edward P. Jones, Pulitzer Prize-winning author of The Known World
Review
"An important story, heartbreakingly vivid, and beautifully told."
-Jane Bernstein, author of Bereft: A Sister's Story
"Painful secrets are brought to light in this rueful, honest account."
-Publishers Weekly
"Secret Girl is an unwaveringly courageous, wisely seen, and gorgeously written book about family secrets, indelible loss, and the healing power of reconciliation that stands equal to groundbreaking memoirs like Kathryn Harrison's The Kiss, and Lucy Grealey's Autobiography of a Face." -Julie Checkoway, author of the forthcoming book and director of the forthcoming documentary Waiting for Hockney
"Molly Bruce Jacobs takes you on a rollercoaster ride through the range of emotions a family experiences when the parents choose to institutionalize their daughter." -Steve Morgan, executive director, the Arc of Baltimore
"Secret Girl is a compelling evocation of the dynamics of one family around an invisible sister tucked away into an institution, and the long journey of the author to claim her sister, and claim herself. This is a memorable book...The author's accurate eye and deep desire for truth make this book a necessary one to enter, a great visit to the birth of love between sisters, and to its persistence." -Anya Achtenberg, Zoetrope Award-winning author and poet
Praise for Molly Bruce Jacobs's award-winning short story collection Small Burials:
"The author writes effortless prose....One of the things that amazed me was the beauty of many of the images. And those images come with a precise dissection of the characters' lives...This is wonderful work."
-Edward P. Jones, Pulitzer Prize-winning author of The Known World
Synopsis
For decades, a well-to-do Baltimore family guarded a secret too painful to reveal, much less speak of among themselves. For one daughter, that secret would haunt her for years but ultimately compel her to take surprising risks and reap unbelievable rewards--the story of which forms the stunning narrative of this remarkable memoir.
When Molly Bruce Jacobs, the family's eldest daughter, finds herself newly sober at the age of thirty-eight, she finally seeks out and comes face-to-face with this secret: Anne, a younger sister who was diagnosed at birth with hydrocephalus ("water on the brain") and mental retardation, then institutionalized. Anne has never been home to visit, and Jacobs has never seen her. Full of trepidation, Jacobs goes to meet her sister for the first time. As the book unfilds and the sisters grow close, Jacobs learns of the decades of life not shared, and gains surprising insights about herself, including why she drank for most of her adult life. In addition, she gradually comes to understand that her parents' reasons for placing Anne in an institution were far more complex than she'd ever imagined.
About the Author
Molly Bruce Jacobs's short stories have appeared in numerous literary journals, and her articles and essays have appeared in AARP The Magazine, The Baltimore Sun, Redbook, and various other publications. Berfore turning to writing full-time, Jacobs practiced law in Baltimore, Maryland. She now divides her time between western Massachusetts and Rehoboth Beach, Delaware.
Reading Group Guide
1. Who is the "secret girl" in this book?
2. Secret Girl opens with Brucie on her way to meet Anne for the first time. But that meeting does not appear in the book until chapters later. Why do you think that the author waited so long to tell of her first meeting with Anne?
3. Brucie's therapist, Dr. Bergman, tells her that going to see Anne may be the first "real thing" she has ever done. What do you think he meant by that?
4. The author describes Anne as her "vital counterpart." In what ways were the sisters vital counterparts to each other? What did Brucie learn from Anne? What did Anne learn from Brucie? Do you feel that the two sisters changed and grew as their relationship developed?
5. Throughout the book, Brucie alternates between anger at her parents for the decisions they made, and compassion for them. Discuss how a child could have such conflicting emotions toward her parents. Have you ever felt this way?
6. The underlying conflict of the book is between Brucie's inner, suppressed world and her parents' polished world. How is this conflict resolved by the end of the book?
7. After several decades of heavy drinking coupled with numerous failed attempts at sobriety, Brucie suddenly quits drinking. After being dependent upon alcohol for so long, how do you explain Brucie managing to quit drinking overnight? What role did Dr. Bergman (and his words that it would be "a miracle" if Brucie could stay sober) play in this?
8. How do you think that the family secret of Anne affected the dynamics in Brucie's family as she was growing up? Do you think that the secret created a bond between the Jacobs family members? Or did it have a destructive affect on the family dynamics? Do you know of any families who were so ashamed of something that they rarely spoke of it among themselves, and kept it a secret for years?
9. In the end, Brucie decided not to bring Anne home to live with her and her two children. Did this surprise you? Were you disappointed? Was Brucie simply repeating her parents' decision not to bring Anne home when she was a child? Or was there perhaps something more involved in Brucie's decision? What would you have done if you'd been in Brucie's shoes?
10. Did reading about Anne affect the way that you view people with disabilities? If so, how?
11. What do you imagine Anne would have to say if she could read Secret Girl? What might her reaction be?
12. The Washington Post called Secret Girl an "uncomfortable book." This could be interpreted as either a negative or positive comment...or both. Discuss. Did reading this book make you uncomfortable? How so?
13. How did the epilogue to Secret Girl impact you?