Synopses & Reviews
For decades, a well-to-do Baltimore family guarded a secret they felt too ashamed to reveal, much less speak of among themselves. For one daughter, that secret would haunt her for years but ultimately compel her to take surprising risks and reap unbelievable rewards--the story of which forms the stunning narrative of this remarkable memoir.
When Molly Bruce Jacobs, the family's eldest daughter, finds herself newly sober at the age of thirty-eight, she finally seeks out and comes face-to-face with this secret: Anne, a younger sister who was diagnosed at birth with hydrocephalus ("water on the brain") and mental retardation, was institutionalized. Anne has never been home to visit, and Molly Jacobs has never seen her. Full of trepidation, she goes to meet her sister for the first time. As the book unfolds and the sisters grow close, Jacobs learns of the decades of life not shared and gains surprising insights about herself, including why she drank for most of her adult life. In addition, she gradually comes to understand that her parents' reasons for placing Anne in a state institution were far more complex than she'd ever imagined.
Review
"[S]tands equal to groundbreaking memoirs such as Kathryn Harrison's The Kiss, and Lucy Grealey's Autobiography of a Face." Julie Checkoway, author and filmmaker
Review
"I loved Secret Girl...heartbreakingly vivid, and beautifully told." Jane Bernstein, author
Review
"[A]lthough this is a memoir, it has an ending as poignant and unexpected as any work of fiction." Library Journal
Review
"Imagine being 13 years old and discovering you have a younger sister secreted away in a mental institution....With disarming candor, Jacobs creates a graphic account of one family's physical loss and one woman's emotional gain." Booklist
Review
"[A] compelling and disturbing page turner that lays bare the secrets of a privileged Maryland family." Baltimore Sun
Synopsis
For decades, a well-to-do Baltimore family guarded a secret they felt too ashamed to reveal, much less speak of among themselves. For one daughter, that secret would haunt her for years but ultimately compel her to take surprising risks and reap unbelievable rewards the story of which forms the stunning narrative of this remarkable memoir.
When Molly Bruce Jacobs, the family's eldest daughter, finds herself newly sober at the age of thirty-eight, she finally seeks out and comes face-to-face with this secret: Anne, a younger sister who was diagnosed at birth with hydrocephalus ("water on the brain") and mental retardation, was institutionalized. Anne has never been home to visit, and Molly Jacobs has never seen her. Full of trepidation, she goes to meet her sister for the first time. As the book unfolds and the sisters grow close, Jacobs learns of the decades of life not shared and gains surprising insights about herself, including why she drank for most of her adult life. In addition, she gradually comes to understand that her parents' reasons for placing Anne in a state institution were far more complex than she'd ever imagined.
Synopsis
A recovering alcoholic describes her discovery of a mentally retarded younger sister with hydrocephalus with whom she bonds in spite of considerable family resistance, a relationship that offers her insight into her family dynamics and the source of her alcoholism. Reprint. 20,000 first printing.
Synopsis
When Jacobs finds herself newly sober at the age of 38, she finally seeks out and comes face-to-face with this secret a younger sister, Anne, who was diagnosed at birth with hydrocephalus and then institutionalized.
About the Author
Molly Bruce Jacobs' short stories have appeared in numerous literary journals and her articles and essays have appeared in AARP The Magazine, the Baltimore Sun, Redbook, and various other publications. Before turning to writing full-time, Jacobs practiced law in Baltimore, Maryland. She now lives in western Massachusetts. Visit her at www.mollybrucejacobs.com.
Reading Group Guide
1. Who is the "secret girl" in this book?
2. Secret Girl opens with Brucie on her way to meet Anne for the first time. But that meeting does not appear in the book until chapters later. Why do you think that the author waited so long to tell of her first meeting with Anne?
3. Brucie's therapist, Dr. Bergman, tells her that going to see Anne may be the first "real thing" she has ever done. What do you think he meant by that?
4. The author describes Anne as her "vital counterpart." In what ways were the sisters vital counterparts to each other? What did Brucie learn from Anne? What did Anne learn from Brucie? Do you feel that the two sisters changed and grew as their relationship developed?
5. Throughout the book, Brucie alternates between anger at her parents for the decisions they made, and compassion for them. Discuss how a child could have such conflicting emotions toward her parents. Have you ever felt this way?
6. The underlying conflict of the book is between Brucie's inner, suppressed world and her parents' polished world. How is this conflict resolved by the end of the book?
7. After several decades of heavy drinking coupled with numerous failed attempts at sobriety, Brucie suddenly quits drinking. After being dependent upon alcohol for so long, how do you explain Brucie managing to quit drinking overnight? What role did Dr. Bergman (and his words that it would be "a miracle" if Brucie could stay sober) play in this?
8. How do you think that the family secret of Anne affected the dynamics in Brucie's family as she was growing up? Do you think that the secret created a bond between the Jacobs family members? Or did it have a destructive affect on the family dynamics? Do you know of any families who were so ashamed of something that they rarely spoke of it among themselves, and kept it a secret for years?
9. In the end, Brucie decided not to bring Anne home to live with her and her two children. Did this surprise you? Were you disappointed? Was Brucie simply repeating her parents' decision not to bring Anne home when she was a child? Or was there perhaps something more involved in Brucie's decision? What would you have done if you'd been in Brucie's shoes?
10. Did reading about Anne affect the way that you view people with disabilities? If so, how?
11. What do you imagine Anne would have to say if she could read Secret Girl? What might her reaction be?
12. The Washington Post called Secret Girl an "uncomfortable book." This could be interpreted as either a negative or positive comment...or both. Discuss. Did reading this book make you uncomfortable? How so?
13. How did the epilogue to Secret Girl impact you?