Synopses & Reviews
Praise for Staying with Conflict
"Perhaps the biggest secret of the conflict resolution field is that many conflicts are not ready for resolutionnor need they be resolved. In this wonderfully thought-provoking and practical book, Bernie Mayer shows conflict specialists how to help parties engage constructively with their differences and stay with their conflicts in a productive way. I recommend it!"
William UrY, coauthor, Getting to Yes and author, The Power of a Positive No
"Once again, Bernie Mayer is two jumps ahead of the field. Staying with Conflict opens up a new way of thinking about our work and is essential reading for any practitioner who suspects the underlying conflict won't be over just because the parties have now signed something."
Christopher Honeyman, managing partner, CONVENOR, and conflict management editor, The Negotiator's Fieldbook
"Bernie Mayer continues to challenge us to examine some of the fundamental assumptions about the role of conflict resolution professionals. Staying with Conflict offers thoughtful analysis (useful on both the professional and personal levels), provides concrete, accessible examples, and even considers marketing strategies for professionals working with conflict that is unlikely to be resolved. This is a comprehensive and clearly written book and is a must-read for anyone who works with conflict."
Peter Salem, executive director, Association of Family Conciliation Courts
"Bernie Mayer has written about the right issue at the right time. This book will help practitioners and parties in conflict alike to work seriously and constructively over the long haul."
Zena Zumeta, JD, Mediation Training and Consultation Institute, and past president, Academy of Family Mediators
"Social justice activists know from experience that perseverance is the key to lasting social changeespecially when power imbalances favor the status quo. In Staying with Conflict Bernie Mayer shows how successful social change advocates can harness the tensions of 'creative non-resolution' of conflict to leverage opportunities for favorable and fundamental change."
Chet Tchozewski, founder and president, Global Greengrants Fund
"In Staying with Conflict, Bernie Mayer helps us rotate to a new perspective as conflict specialistsone that embraces the realities, tensions, and excitements of enduring conflict. This is a well-written, compelling reminder that conflict, like life, is a journey that requires long-term, complex, and reflective understandings of how we build relationships."
Tricia S. Jones, professor of psychological studies, Temple University, and past editor-in-chief,
Conflict Resolution Quarterly
Review
“I picked up Bernard Mayer’s new book last spring, and here is the bottom line: its impact on my practice was instant…What is more, the impact has been enduring. It has changed how I think about and talk about the work I do….”
— Sheila Heen in Negotiation Journal, January 2010
Synopsis
This book explores a new method of dealing with conflict shows us how to embrace these conflicts, accept their central role in our work and private lives, and learn to live with them. It shows how to stay with conflict in a manner that is both creative and inspiring. Mayer is one of the most important, creative, and innovative thinkers, writers, and active participants in the business, and continues in this book his work as a revolutionary pioneer in pushing the business into new and significant theory and practice.
Synopsis
Staying with Conflict
As the field of conflict resolution has grown and expanded its reach, it has increasingly faced the challenge of how to deal with long-term disputes. The most prevalent approach, with its emphasis on prevention, management, and resolution, is often inadequate for dealing with ongoing conflicts that are reflections of fundamental issues of values, identity, and structure.
In this groundbreaking book, Bernard Mayer, a pioneer in the field of conflict resolution, offers a new paradigm for dealing with long-term disputes. Mayer explains that when dealing with enduring conflict, mediators and other conflict resolution specialists need to move past the idea of how quickly they can resolve the conflict. Instead, they should focus on how they can help people prepare to engage with an issue over time. Once their attention is directed away from a speedy resolution to a long-term approach, new avenues of intervention become apparent.
Staying with Conflict builds on the lessons learned and the skills honed from years of effective conflict resolution. Mayer takes the process to the next level and outlines six strategic challenges that this new long-term process will address:
Confront the pervasive and destructive power of conflict avoidance
Work with disputants to construct conflict narratives that encourage an effective approach to long-term disputes
Assist in developing durable avenues of communication
Help people use power and respond to power wisely
Understand and recognize the proper role of agreements within the context of long-term conflict
Encourage the development of support systems that can sustain disputants over time
The book is filled with illustrative examples from a broad variety of conflicts, from the interpersonal to the international. As these stories demonstrate, this new model for working with enduring conflict offers hope for dealing with our struggles as social beings.
Synopsis
Winner of the 2009 CPR Award for Outstanding BookIn this groundbreaking book, Bernard Mayer, a pioneer in the field of conflict resolution, offers a new paradigm for dealing with long-term disputes. Mayer explains that when dealing with enduring conflict, mediators and other conflict resolution specialists need to move past the idea of how quickly they can resolve the conflict. Instead, they should focus on how they can help people prepare to engage with an issue over time. Once their attention is directed away from a speedy resolution to a long-term approach, new avenues of intervention become apparent.
About the Author
Bernard Mayer, a professor at the Werner Institute for Negotiation and Dispute Resolution, Creighton University, and a partner in CDR Associates, has been working in the conflict field since the late 1970s as a mediator, facilitator, trainer, researcher, program administrator, and dispute system designer. He has worked on many complex environmental confl icts, organizational and labor - management disputes, interpersonal conflicts, planning and development issues, public decision - making processes, and ethnic disputes. He has an extensive background in family and child welfare mediation as well. Bernie has worked with corporations; labor unions; Native American governments and associations; federal, state, and local agencies; public interest groups; professional associations; schools; child welfare programs; mental health services; and universities.
He has consulted on conflict and conflict intervention throughout the United States and Canada and has extensive experience working internationally as well. He has been recognized as a leader in applying mediation in new arenas such as mental health, child welfare, and disputes between public agencies and involuntary clients. He has also been recognized for his work in bridging the gap between theory and practice in confl ict intervention. Bernie received his Ph.D. degree from the University of Denver, his M.S.W. from Columbia University, and his B.A. from Oberlin College. He is the author of The Dynamics of Conflict Resolution: A Practitioner ’ s Guide (Jossey- Bass, 2000) and Beyond Neutrality: Confronting the Crisis in Confl ict Resolution (Jossey- Bass, 2004), which received the 2004 annual book award from the CPR International Institute for Confl ict Prevention & Resolution, as well as many other writings about conflict. He lives in Kingsville, Ontario, and Boulder, Colorado, with his wife, Julie Macfarlane, and family.
Table of Contents
Preface.
1. A New Direction for the Conflict Field.
2. Conflict and Engagement.
3. Escaping the Avoidance Trap.
4. Working the Conflict Narrative.
5. Communicating in Enduring Conflict.
6. Using Power and Escalation.
7. Agreements in Ongoing Conflict.
8. Taking a Sustainable Approach to Enduring Conflict.
9. Conflict Specialists and Enduring Conflict.
Epilogue: The Dynamic Nature of Enduring Conflict.
References.
About the Author.
Index.