Synopses & Reviews
"For the most part, parenting is something we just do, without really giving it much thought," says Laurence Steinberg, one of the country's most distinguished psychologists. Most of us parent by instinct, he says, but with a better understanding of what works when you parent, and why, your instincts will get better and so will your ability to cope with the unique challenges -- and joys -- of being a parent.
Over his three decades of research on children and families, Dr. Steinberg noticed that the scientific evidence linking certain principles of parenting to healthy child development was so clear and consistent that these same principles could be applied universally, regardless of a family's income, race, or single- or two-parent status. He distilled these fundamentals into ten principles, and in The Ten Basic Principles of Good Parenting, he shows how they can help to sustain parents as they raise their children from infancy to adolescence. These principles articulate a philosophy of parenting-- a style of parenting -- and so they work whether parents are faced with a screaming toddler or a rebellious teen.
Dr. Steinberg explains and illustrates each principle with anecdotes and examples, from "What You Do Matters" (parents make an enormous difference; children are not simply the product of their genes) to "Establish Rules and Set Limits" (how to provide structure in your child's life, and how to handle conflicts over rules) and "Help Foster Your Child's Independence" (help your child think through decisions; don't just make them for him or her). The goal, says Dr. Steinberg, is to foster positive development in your child -- to help your child become competent, responsible, secure, and kind.
The Ten Basic Principles of Good Parenting is a map for the journey through parenthood, a book parents can read and then return to whenever they start to lose their way. Concise and authoritative, written with warmth and compassion, it is not only an intelligent guide to raising a happy, healthy child; it is also a guide to becoming a happier, more confident parent.
Review
"[A] powerful argument for the importance of parents in shaping emotionally healthy children....[This] slim volume brims with potent messages about the importance and responsibility of good parenting..." Publishers Weekly
Review
"With so many parenting books out there and so little time for parents to read them, the idea of boiling down child rearing to ten basic principles makes perfect sense....Steinberg does just that." Library Journal
Review
"Larry Steinberg gets it right! In this brief but information-packed book, he helps parents apply the science of child development to their relationships with their children. It is warm, insightful, and eminently practical." Lawrence Kutner, Ph.D., Codirector, Harvard Medical School Center for Mental Health and Media
Review
"Dr. Steinberg's prescriptions are grounded in science, and there is a note in his writing of something less quantifiable and perhaps even more valuable: wisdom." Robert Needlman, M.D., Associate Professor of Pediatrics, Case Western Reserve University; Dr. Spock's Baby and Childcare (8th edition), updated and revised
Review
"A real gem from one of the world's most trusted psychologists! In this easy-to-read little book, Professor Steinberg crystallizes what science tells us about how to raise children. Chock-full of examples and solutions, this is a must-read for parents and parents-to-be!" Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, Professor of Psychology, Temple University, and author of How Babies Talk and Einstein Never Used Flashcards
About the Author
Laurence Steinberg, Ph.D., is the Distinguished University Professor and Laura H. Carnell Professor of Psychology at Temple University and a former president of the Society for Research on Adolescence. A Fellow of the American Psychological Association, Dr. Steinberg is the author or coauthor of several previous books, including You and Your Adolescent and Beyond the Classroom. His work has also appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Psychology Today, Ladies' Home Journal, and The Washington Post, among other publications. He lives with his family in suburban Philadelphia.
Table of Contents
ContentsBeing a Better Parent
Principle 1: What You Do Matters
Be a Mindful Parent
Genes Don't Make Parents Irrelevant
Children Learn by Watching
Handling Influences Outside the Family
Learn from Your Mistakes
Principle 2: You Cannot Be Too Loving
Can You Spoil Your Child with Love?
Expressing Physical Affection
Praise Your Child's Accomplishments
Responding to Your Child's Emotional Needs
Providing a Safe Haven
Principle 3: Be Involved in Your Child's Life
Be Involved
What Is Quality Time?
Take an Interest in Your Child's Interests
The Importance of School Involvement
Avoid Intrusive Parenting
Principle 4: Adapt Your Parenting to Fit Your Child
Keep Pace with Your Child's Development
Adjust Your Parenting to Your Child's Temperament
Your Child Is Unique
Have Patience During Developmental Transitions
Your Changing Role as a Parent
Principle 5: Establish Rules and Set Limits
All Children Need Rules and Limits
Be Firm, but Be Fair
The Importance of Monitoring
Handling Conflicts over Rules
Relaxing Limits as Your Child Matures
Principle 6: Help Foster Your Child's Independence
Your Child's Need for Autonomy
Coping with Oppositionalism and Argumentativeness
Give Your Child Psychological Space
Don't Micromanage Your Child's Life
Protect When You Must, but Permit When You Can
Principle 7: Be Consistent
Be Consistent from Day to Day
The Significance of Routines
How Important Is a United Front?
Be Consistent Without Being Rigid
Identify Your Nonnegotiables
Principle 8: Avoid Harsh Discipline
Should Children Be Punished?
Never Use Physical Punishment
Don't Be Verbally Abusive
Controlling Your Anger
The Right Way to Punish
Principle 9: Explain Your Rules and Decisions
Be Clear About What You Expect
Reasoning with Your Child
"Because I Said So"
Hear Your Child's Point of View
Admit Your Mistakes
Principle 10: Treat Your Child with Respect
Getting and Giving Respect
Have Two-Way Conversations
"Don't Talk Back"
Let Your Child Act His Age
Children Treat Others the Way Their Parents Treat Them
Index