Synopses & Reviews
Millions of people lie awake at night worrying as they ruminate over what they should” have done and what could” happen. Automatically expecting the worst, these worrywarts imagine catastrophic situations that are not likely to happen. Such obsessive worrywarting robs the worrier of restful sleep, impacts their immune system so that they are more susceptible to illness, and diminishes quality of life for worriersas well as for their family, friends and co-workers. Paralyzed, worriers let opportunities slip by.
Telling a worrywart to stop worrying” is futile and may actually increase their worrying because worrywarts commonly develop a superstitious belief that their worrying keeps bad things from happening and that the sky will surely fall in if they dont worry.
Worrying is an important survival skill of the competent and successful. It is a mental fire drill, wherein the worrier takes notice of potential threats, identifies various protective actions and then mentally rehearses contingent plans for handling the situation. The problem is that worrywarting generates escalating anxiety which solves nothing. As a result worrywarts get stuck in a vicious cycle of scary thoughts triggering greater anxiety, which triggers more scary thoughts.
We all worrywart to some degree. To deal with lifes challenges effectively we must mentally work through unpleasant situationsworry. But doing so is upsetting. Some deny and procrastinate until the problematic situation is upon them. Some use prescription medications to quiet disruptive anxiety, while others self-medicate”. Worrywarts give themselves over to the vicious worry cycle to become increasingly paralyzed by panic. The difference between these dysfunctional approaches and those of smart worry” is knowledge and skill.
Our bodies can be likened to a bio-robot run by a biochemical computer, which we are constantly self-programming. Like our desktop computers, the human bio-computer has a basic operating systemhard-wiredas well as acquired programssoftware. Unfortunately we dont have the benefit of an operating manual so we muddle along with habits of varying effectivenessmany of which insert bugs” that throw us off-balance and undermine our well being.
When people step back and observe your worry behavior” like a scientist would, you will see that worry is composed of sequences of negative, anxiety-provoking words and images. This self-talk” or internal dialogue is how we program” ourselves, just like engineers use strings of words to program actual computers. Worrywarts unwittingly program in a self-perpetuating vicious cycle of frightening thoughts (fear programs), which trigger anxious responses.
Worry Smart
Smart worriers are aware of the ways in which they become anxious and how they set off the worry cycle and actively plan to deal with it. They catch themselves worrying and redirect its momentum into productive action. Whereas worrywarts get caught up in this vicious cycle of obsessing, smart worriers do the work of worry and then they soothe themselvesthey take purposeful action to bring themselves back to balance.
Smart worriers take control of their worry by creating a time and place to do the work of worry, in contrast to worrywarts who are enslaved by their wild” minds. Instead of trying to stop their worrying, smart worriers objectively study their worry-behavior to better understand how to worry effectively. Smart worriers worry in such a way as to feel hopeful rather than overwhelmed. They talk to themselves as a good friend does rather haranguing themselves like a fuddy-duddy” which triggers FUD”fear, uncertainty and doubt. They practice flexible thinking rather than rut thinking” characteristic of worrywarting. Smart worriers look for solutions, including partial solutions, and accept what cant be changed. Instead of accepting scary thoughts as inevitable happenings, smart worriers challenge their worries and practice making under-reactive” statements that defuse anxiety rather than fueling it.
When smart worriers finish the work of worry, they purposefully soothe themselves so that they can move on to other activities. Other smart worry techniques include learning to set worry thoughts aside rather than carrying them home and into the night. Smart worriers practice picturing positive possibilities and imagine miracles instead of succumbing to panic triggered by images of catastrophes and horrific futuresI knew that Id end up a bag lady!”
Smart worriers are pro-active. They integrate soothing activities into their daily lives to keep worry-provoking anxiety in check. The Worrywarts Companion offers a smorgasbord of options to experiment with, including deep breathing and muscles relaxing exercises, practicing deliberate belly laughing, saying a prayer, doing a good deed, taking a walk, rocking oneself, counting details to keep ones mind off of the worry, and more.
Synopsis
Worrywarts are characterized by chronic anxiety, enslavement to out-of-control thoughts, and haranguing themselves to a degree that triggers FUD fear, uncertainty, and doubt. Smart worriers take control of their worry by creating a time and place to do the work of worry, objectively studying their behavior to better understand how to worry effectively, and practicing flexible thinking rather than rut thinking. Smart worriers look for solutions, including partial solutions, and accept what cant be changed, challenge their worries, practice making under-reactive statements that defuse anxiety rather than fuel it. The Worrywarts Companion offers a smorgasbord of tools to help readers become smart worriers, including deep breathing and muscles relaxing exercises, practicing deliberate belly laughing, saying a prayer, doing a good deed, taking a walk, rocking oneself, counting details to keep ones mind off of the worry, and more. When smart worriers finish the work of worry, they purposefully soothe themselves so that they can move on to other activities. The Worrywarts Companion helps disquieted readers integrate soothing activities into their daily lives to keep worry-provoking anxiety in check.
About the Author
Beverly A. Potter, PhD, (Docpotter) received her doctorate in counseling psychology from Stanford University and her masters in vocational rehabilitation counseling from San Francisco State University. She was awarded the prestigious Ford Dissertation Fellowship in Womens Studies.
Docpotters work blends philosophies of humanistic psychology, social learning theory and Eastern philosophies to create an inspiring and original approach to handling difficulties encountered in todays world. Docpotter has developed a number of original self-help approaches, such as her breakthrough model of job burnout and how to overcome it based upon research in learned helplessness”, her smart worry model inspired by Daniel Golemans emotional intelligence”, her use of the Japanese roninthe unindentured samuraias a metaphor for her new paradigm, non-linear, career strategy for the cyber-age in which work is an adventure. She is noted for challenging rules and thinking of issues from an out-of-the-box perspective.
Docpotter was a faculty member of the University of California at Berkeley Goldman School of Public Policys prestigious Executive Seminar program for City Managers. She was a member of Stanford Universitys Human Resources Staff Development Program for 20 years. Her managerial training programs have been offered through University of California at Berkeley Extension, San Francisco State Extension, De Anza College Short Courses, as well as in-house training at Sun Microsystems, Genentech, TRW-CI, Hewlett-Packard, GTE, IRS Revenue Officers, Tap Plastics, Becton-Dickinson, Department of Energy, California State Bar Association, International Association for Personnel Women, Design Management Institute, Asian Management Institute, Cisco Systems and others.
Table of Contents
Prologue
Part 1 - What is Worrywarting?
1. Worrywarting is Hell
2. Worrywarts Go to Extremes
3. Worrywarting is a Style of Thinking
4. Worrywarts Let Emotions Take Over
5. Worrywarts Worry Themselves Sick
Part 2 - How to Worry Smarter
6. What is Smart Worry?
7. Create a Time and Place to Worry
8. Watch How You Worry
9. Talk to Yourself theWay a Friend Would
10. Practice Flexible Thinking
11. Challenge the Worry
12. Look for Solutions
13. Set Worries Aside
14. Imagine Positive Possibilities
15. You Can Worry Smarter
Part 3 - Twenty-One Ways to Soothe Yourself and Worry Smartr
16. Evaluate the Cost of Worry
17. Take a Deep Breath
18. Relax Your Muscles
19. Distract Yourself
20. Take a Walk
21. Smile and Laugh
22. Say a Little Prayer
23. Find the Joy
24. Avoid Drinking Coffee
25. Change Shoulds to Preferences
26. Count Worry Beads
27. Eat a Sweet
28. Take a Warm Bath
29. Imagine a Happy Ending
30. Do a Good Deed
31. Joke About the Worry
32. Rock Yourself
33. Count Your Blessings
34. Make a List
35. Practice Underreacting
36. Watch a Funny Movie
Bibliography