Everyone has a lifelong goal they're constantly striving to attain: maybe it's to drink water more regularly (me), maybe it's to actually move your body even though you're sitting most of the day (also me), or maybe, it's to have the kinds of friendships found in our most beloved books, TV, and movies. For me, I want a bosom friendship like Anne Shirley and Diana Barry from
Anne of Green Gables more than just about anything in this world (give or take the water and movement thing, but I like to think the friendship would help with that somehow).
When I was a kid, I would read Lucy Maude Montgomery's words describing bosom friends, which boiled down this very romantic sentiment: two people who were absolutely platonic while at the same time being absolutely soulmates. And it was from that moment on (and maybe even before then, when I hoped it existed but wasn't quite sure), I knew I wanted bosom friends. I wanted friends who I could be openly romantic with, maybe a little dramatic with, and also extremely silly with, who I could get drunk on cherry cordials with (accidentally, or on purpose because we are over twelve years old, or whatever age Anne and Diana were when they got super drunk on fancy cocktails and romanticized red liquor).
I wanted friends who I could be openly romantic with, maybe a little dramatic with, and also extremely silly with, who I could get drunk on cherry cordials with.
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So when I finally found myself around that same age myself, I was sure these bosom friends would manifest at last, showing up one day at school, or at the park, or anywhere new friends are usually found. She would be beautiful and devoted and loyal like Diana was, and deeply in awe of how romantic and maybe a little “too-many-feelings-having” Anne (and myself) are.
Diana never judged how over the top Anne was, never judged how much she didn't always know the proper thing to do in any given situation, never judged where Anne came from or how rocky her start in life was. All Diana ever did was revel in the person Anne became, despite the hardships, despite the missteps, despite the things she didn't know — what she did know, how full her heart was, that was where her adoration lied. Their friendship was about full acceptance and full support of each other. In the face of cruel classmates, and a frustrating world, Anne had Diana's back and Diana had hers just the same.
Romantic partners could come and go, they were just window dressing — even if the window dressing was Gilbert Blythe, arguably one of the dreamiest men ever created in literature. Particularly if you feel like a strong-headed woman who is intelligent and dreamy and has no time for anyone's crap: be exceptional in your courting and your romantic gestures or else move along! If you felt this way at all, whatsoever, Gilbert Blythe probably hit a real sweet spot for you. Cece on
New Girl probably put it best here about Gilbert when she said, “You know I love Schmidt, but I would throw it all away for Gilbert. I would just ruin my life for that boy.”
Romantic partners could come and go, they were just window dressing — even if the window dressing was Gilbert Blythe, arguably one of the dreamiest men ever created in literature.
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And even with a romantic literary lead who was that compelling, Gilbert never came first ever. Diana and Anne's friendship came first — that was their foundation, that was their set point. Diana of course did everything she could for Anne when it came to Gilbert, but Anne consistently made damn sure that Diana knew that Gilbert, nor any man, nor any other friend, would ever come close to the devotion she had for Diana. I wanted this so very much.
Instead, I was often met with friends who I saw every six months at best, through no fault of our own, just scheduling and timing. Or worse, friends who were inconsistent, and always left me feeling a little bad after I saw them, for reasons I couldn't always articulate or put my finger on, until the missteps on their part became more egregious and harder to ignore. The friendships would come and go, the friendship breakups devastating each and every time.
Still, despite every single heartbreak at the hands of someone I thought might go the distance this time, I would be reminded of Anne Shirley and Diana Barry. I know from my deeply nerdy “I must know everything about this person who made a thing I love!” research that Lucy Maude Montgomery perhaps wrote so beautifully about this form of friendship because she never quite found it herself. From everything I've read, her deepest most fulfilling connections may have only landed in the beautiful and rich pages of her books. We have no way of knowing if she had them in real life, but if she didn't, I like to think it's because she, like so many of us, deeply wanted to be Anne and Diana as well.
From everything I've read, her deepest most fulfilling connections may have only landed in the beautiful and rich pages of her books.
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And writing
Anne of Green Gables was, for her, a message in a bottle, wishing that she could have a friendship this strong, this unshakeable. And maybe also wishing, for so many of us, that we would see that this could be possible, might be possible, and continue to reach for it. No matter how many times our heart has been shattered by the friendships that came and went, we would bravely piece it back together for a chance absolutely worth taking, that our friendships would be like the bosom friendships of Anne Shirley and Diana Barry. And if you're a Diana waiting for your Anne too, just know — I'm ready whenever you are.
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Lane Moore is an award-winning writer, actor, comedian, and musician. Her first book,
How To Be Alone: If You Want To And Even If You Don't, became an instant #1 bestseller and was praised as one of the best books of the year. Her second book,
You Will Find Your People: How To Make Meaningful Friendships As An Adult, will be released on April 25, 2023.
Her comedy show
“Tinder Live!” is regarded as one of the best comedy shows in the world and has been praised by
The New York Times,
Spin Magazine,
New York Magazine, and many others. As a musician, Moore is the frontperson and songwriter in the band
“It Was Romance” which has been praised by
Pitchfork,
Vogue,
Paste, and
Billboard. She is the host of
I Thought It Was Just Me podcast on Patreon. You can follow her @hellolanemoore on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok.