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Is Self-Help Keeping Me from Helping Myself?

by Robyn Okrant, January 8, 2010 10:40 AM
I have what might be described as a small library of personal growth books in my bookcases. My husband brought his own preferred titles into our marriage and we collectively own enough self-help that we should be entirely fulfilled in every aspect of our lives. And yet, when we last went book shopping, we each bought a book that we're sure will enlighten us. Where does it end? As much as I adore my books, I bet that there is a huge amount of overlap in advice and guidance. Let's throw into the mix that I read women's magazines, watch talk shows, and surf the web for suggestions. There is more advice out there than ever — the market is saturated with it — and yet we clamor for more. As a culture, I wonder: Are we chronically dissatisfied, and will we ever fill our collective void with all the self-help we gobble up?

Most of my books say the same thing. They advise me to listen to my own voice, trust myself, find inner strength, peace, and happiness. And yet, I'm hungry for more. I buy new books which give me the same message in different formats and styles. Will I ever find the right one? Or is it time to close the books and try to do this on my own? I'm 37 years old and I've done a lot of reading, watching, and surfing in my time. I feel as if I should have all the information I need in the database in my brain. I want to try to put it into action on my own. Take off the training wheels and dare to ride on my own power, with my own intuition as navigator.

So, that's what Living Oprah has inspired in me — the desire to unplug and strive toward my goals without dependence on outside validation. I'm going to put my money where my mouth is and give it a go in 2010. I'm creating my own declaration of independence and I'm going to step forth without using my usual crutches. To be honest, I'm terrified, but it's time.




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Living Oprah My One Year Experiment To W

Robyn Okrant
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9 Responses to "Is Self-Help Keeping Me from Helping Myself?"

Kristi a self improvement seeker - http://www.attr August 20, 2010 at 12:34 PM
She is so right!!! This is a universal condition I think. Sometimes I wonder if we seek so many answers outside of ourselves because we are really afraid of our own greatness. That is, we're afraid to trust our own thinking and afraid to believe that we might actually be great ourselves. So we give up our personal power and give it to the current "guru" we are following. But, posts such as this one indicate that things may be achangin'!! Yeah for us!

Mitchell Dahood M.A. August 5, 2010 at 12:55 PM
I am also a "life long learner" having a very healthy collection of self help books on a variety of personal and spiritual growth topics. I also belief that knowledge without application is powerless. At some point you simply have to get on with it and take action. I have a new rule for myself. I won't start reading another book or article or listen to another CD until I have taken some action on the one I have just finished. I support you in your declaration of independence, and as the title of one self help book says, I encourage you to Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway. Mitchell Dahood M.A. http://www.TheChampionsHeart.com

Joshua Abernathy August 1, 2010 at 02:11 PM
I like to see self help as you said it, "training wheels". Really, the self help material we seek is the information that teaches us how to help ourselves. Once we really grasp what has come into our knowledge and take a hold of it for ourselves; then we can really let our training wheels, our dependency for the self help material, go as we confidently take our walk in life applying what we have learned. It is the efforts that we take to actually use what we have learned and make it apart of our lives. But, if we never actually make the effort to make it our reality, then all we will be doing is seeking for more and more help. www.whereislifetakingyou.com

mimi January 25, 2010 at 10:27 PM
You could read a book about how to play the violin and you still wouldn't know how to play the violin. It's disappointing that self-help books promise instant results. They are ok for thinking and understanding but they won't change you.

AgeofE January 15, 2010 at 07:23 PM
"How bout the best self help book every written... The Bible?" Maybe if your ultimate goal in life is delusion of the self. And while you are at it, procure a copy of the Koran as well.

JJ January 14, 2010 at 10:05 PM
Life is too short for self help.

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